Imperfection v2.0

OMG! An Update!

2006-06-04T11:39:00.000-04:00

Things have been happening, lately. Obviously.

First: I quit OfficeMax. My last day of employment over there was yesterday. I am now going from being a sales associate over at OfficeMax with a $7.25 hourly pay and 10 hour weeks at a store that's 13 miles away from my house, to being a wireless specialist at a new Celluler & More store opening up at the new IKEA superstore here in Canton with at least $8.00 hourly pay (Depending on how well I sell with commission, sometimes averaging pay up to $20 an hour) with it being a full-time job and it's 3 miles away from my house. Major employment opportunity. The story on how I get this job is pretty funny.

Second: I've been still working with Audible and the Mean Gorillas, the high school ska band located out in Montana. I just recently got their CD artwork done, and now I'm currently working on their T-shirt and sticker designs. I'll be posting those eventually.

Third: I've just recently gotten a client for my very first web design job, for a hosting company of a friend of a friend's called Our Host Central. The payment in return? Free web hosting with 1GB of space and I believe 256MB of bandwidth... Or was it the other way around? I don't remember. I know it's 1GB of something, though. But, I'm hoping I can use that for the blog, get rid of Blogger, and hopefully move onto a more useful blogging sourse such as WordPress. I'm not sure if it's going to be enough to even host a portfolio, though. Blergh. Whatever.

Fourth: I'm starting to doubt that this is going to happen, but a friend also wants me to design a logo for the Future Educators Club, for free, over at Schoolcraft because she's the president of it, and she has full responsibility. I'm wondering if her girlfriend (Graphic design student at College for Creative Studies AND lead graphic designer for the local newspaper, the Canton Observer, lucky bitch) changed her mind. I'll need to contact her on that.

Fifth: My life has been sucked away ever since school ended, but at least I'm getting a lot of work coming in.

That's all for now. Sorry this post isn't well thought out and exciting. Hopefully that will change.

Melancholy Birthday

2006-04-11T11:04:00.000-04:00

I feel old. My favorite age has passed and I will never be able to go back to being 18 ever again. I am now 19 years old. I actually feel as if I am an adult. I hate it. I also feel as if I should be living on my own now, and that my parents should no longer be responsible for me. I feel as if I should have my own apartment, drive my own car, and pay for everything that I do. I feel as if I should be my complete responsibility.

I cannot believe that I am no longer 18. I loved being 18. It was the end of the life as a high school student and the start of a college student. It was the start of so many new experiences. Now I am stuck in the middle until I turn 21.

What the hell happens at the age 19 in the United States (KEYWORD: United States), anyways? Turning 20 is a mile stone, knowing that I have survived for two whole decades. The age of 21 is where I am of legal age to pretty much do anything. But, 19? Come on!

I only have two things looking forward to today: No work, and warm weather. I do not care about the presents, and I do not care about being wished a happy birthday. To me it feels just another day of living, except at a boring age.

If I had it my way, I would stay in bed all day cuddling with a woman that I can call my own. But, that is a present that I know I will never receive for this birthday.

New Relieving, Reassuring Discoveries

2006-04-07T10:56:00.000-04:00

The results that one can find on MySpace are amazing. MySpace can find you friends, lovers, clients, and even a sigh of relief, just like it did for me Wednesday.

This afternoon I went searching through my graduating class of Ladywood High School to find some old faces and resurrect the memories we made together during the two dreadful years I was over there. After searching through the six pages that were listed of the 54 students who recognized themselves as a student during that time period, I noticed something. I was not the only gay student!

Ladywood was, by far, the biggest mistake my parents made for me. Ever. Ladywood is an all female, Caucasian-dominated, Catholic-based, anti-homosexual, pro-life hell hole that denied the freedom of expression, and is occupied by nuns that have no sense of reality and faculty that are afraid of them. Teachers are only there for the money and students are only there because they were forced by their parents. Nobody ever wants to be there.

The classmate I found was viewed as one of the more popular types. She was a well-known thespian. She was in all the plays and musicals, and sang at the Masses that Ladywood held regularly. She was even in cheerleading. Her biggest focus in high school was the drama department. Overall, she has been well respected by the high school.

This old classmate of mine is only bisexual, but because of the fact that she is openly expressing that she has attractions for the same sex creates a huge relief, having me know that I am not the only one.

I knew I was gay ever since eighth grade because of discovering my love for a female friend of mine. This discovery caused a clusterfuck of emotions and questioning, and was simply unheard of because during my entire life I was constantly surrounded by people, both friends and family, that lacked tolerance and understanding of homosexuality. Ever since, I went through a period of denial and depression because I was afraid of opening up to myself and I had no one to turn to for help. I just kept praying to God in hopes of my sexuality turning out to be only an embarrassing phase, and to this day I realize that I am stuck with it and there is no use fighting it.

Coming out of the closet was, in all honesty, a scary experience, even though I was no longer a party of Ladywood High School, and even though I did not come out directly in person. At this time, I came out as bisexual in hopes that people would still somewhat view me as normal. I experienced so much fear, though. I feared of friends turning against me, I feared of rumors starting about me and about the friends I had, I feared of being discriminated against, and this collection of fears created the fear of even coming in contact with a former classmate (Which I still have to this day).

Everything that I went through all of these years had to be dealt with by myself. Now that I know that I am not alone helps me step more out of the shadows that have been created since eighth grade, knowing that everything is going to be okay.

Imperfection v2.0 REBORN

2006-04-07T10:33:00.000-04:00

After the celebration of CSS Naked Day, it was time to bring back the original layout that was posted. I was looking through the list of saved layouts I have kept ever since the dawning of Imperfection v1.0, and I decided to pull out the one layout that has I have always enjoyed: Imperfection v2.0.

Yes, this layout eventually became a yawn, but it is always enjoying to bring back the old. What also gets me about this layout is that it reminds me of last year's Detroit Electronic Music Festival. It is to also remind everyone else that it's almost that time of year again.

I guess you can say that this layout brings an inner warmth because it brings back good memories. :)

Lifting The Dust

2006-03-29T22:51:00.000-05:00

Last night I came to the conclusion that I really hated my LiveJournal icons. They were old and lacked creativity. Worst of all, they were all about me. There was nothing special or unique about them. They dazzled the eyes in the beginning, but they became an eyesore later on.

This disgust and hatred gave me the motivation to create new icons. Different icons. It also gave me the motivation to expand my creativity and see what I could do. After hours of brainstorming and creating, six new icons have been created.

1)

The first of the icons. This icon could resemble violence to others because of the hand positioned in the form of what would look like a handgun, a splotch of some sort of liquid to resembe blood, and the "BANG" to go along with the gun. Sadly, to me this icon resembles finger painting; one of the first styles of art every child experiences. From what I've observed, finger painting is always a blast.

The only problem I have about the icon, which I'm too lazy to go back and fix, is that the thumb is too long for proportion. Sad.

2)

This is probably the one icon I could really care less about, but is still neat. To put this icon into better words, it simply resembles the unforgettable acronym WTF.

3)

One of my favorites. Yes, I have created a spoof of Apple's iPod advertising. What gets me about this icon is how clean it looks. No faults about it.

I was thinking about placing a eaten apple core in the background to express how I am biased towards Apple computers, but I have decided to place a feather in the background instead. This resembles that this icon was created by using Photoshop CS2. Yes, I am a dork, but I thought it was a nifty idea.

4)

I could bullshit my way and create a meaning behind this icon, but there really isn't one, to be honest. I wanted to have something that had <3 in it. The idea of the < being held up by a fist and the 3 dangling from a fishing hook seemed like a neat idea.

5)

The other favorite. A clearance price tag resembling an item that was regularly priced at $69.99, but lowered to $0.02. This very price tag is placed on my training badge over at work, except the regular price is $29.99. What does this price tag really resemble? That I'm a $0.02 whore. I have had many customers smirk and giggle after seeing the price tag on my name badge. It brings me much joy. I'm surprised that my managers haven't said anything about it yet... Sometimes I even wonder if they've noticed it at all.

5)

This image was a cut, paste, and manipulate job. This icon is mainly for posts that I just keep rambling on about that are random really has no point. Hense the "DURF" and the 52mph speed limit sign.

I could have probably come up with something better. I could have even made animations. I am just surprised that I actually created something. The creation of independent artwork has been at an all time low and this shows me that there are still creative juices in me.

Senseless At School Babbling

2006-03-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

Here I am. Another day at school drinking a cup of cheaply-brewed coffee, clicking away on the wheel of my iPod and senselessly scribbling away my thoughts on a blank sheet of looseleaf. Nothing is getting accomplished. Nothing is being learned. I just sit here for the sheer fact that I exist as a student.

School is becoming a waste of time. The only use for it is to get the lecture handouts, turn in the essays, and take the tests. For the rest of the period, my time is wasted. I'm there to remind my professors that I am an existing student and to not fail me because I have an attendance record.

Not one book has been opened this semester. Not one piece of homework has been assigned. Not one sheet of looseleaf has been written on for lecture notes. Nothing has happened so far this semester to show me that I have learned something or used educational knowledge for my advantage.

Everyday I constantly have to remind myself why I go to community college. It's cheaper, it's easier, and it will help me raise my GPA to help me transfer to colleges that can help me get a promising career. I'm doing it because it's an easier shortcut to success. I sometimes wish I could be like the rest of my friends and go to numerous and challenging classes at a University and having to do homework. I want to know that I am learning something that is helpful information instead of sitting here wishing for it to happen.

There is no way for me to escape from this. Sure, I could transfer to a different community college, but it will most likely not solve my problem. I am not financially stable enough to support myself attending at a University as it is. I just hope this will all be worth it in the end. Proof for that will take affect years from now. So, I am forced to sit here to wait and go through what I consider to be a waste of time.

Hidden and Unexplained Guilt

2006-03-16T12:01:00.000-05:00

Have you ever woken up one day thinking that you've done something wrong even though you don't have the slightest clue on what the blame is or what the situation was in the first place? You just feel as if you're the blame. You are the fault of the problem that you don't even know about.

All day yesterday I have been filled with guilt because it's all my fault. But, why is it my fault? What is the fault in the first place? If I have no knowledge of what is going on or what I did then why do I feel like this? I didn't do anything, yet I feel as if everyone is pointing their finger at me. Maybe I feel guilty because I feel like I missed the big clue. Clue for what, though?

Maybe I have something built up inside of me that I have failed to realize and refuse to let go if I did. Maybe I feel involved in a situation where I am no way even near close of being a part of in the first place. Maybe I'm going crazy. Who knows?

Tarnished Relationships.

2006-03-12T23:04:00.000-05:00

As much as I should be studying for my anatomy midterm that I have tomorrow night, all I do is keep staring at what I lay above my notes and quizzes, which is the ring placed on my right hand. The Tibetan ring that I purchased with Birdy for our sixth month anniversary. I keep staring at it, spinning it with my thumb, examining the designs engraved into it, and thinking, remembering how it used to wear it on my left ring finger. This ring brings so much emotion.

It symbolizes what Birdy and I used to have. On my left finger it meant love, commitment, and pride. It meant something positive. With now having it worn on my right ring finger, it reminds me of what we have now. A fading friendship. This ring reminds me of something that was once great and sometimes reminding me that things are better this way.

Ever since I became single, all I've been wanting to do is go on dates. Let the relationships wait a bit and have something fun to remember. When I stare at this now tarnished ring on my right hand thinking about what I want, it gives a negative impact. I'm single, I'm lonely, I'm looking. I'm waiting for someone to come along and polish it back up, letting it shine once again. I want it to be worn on the finger where it was originally meant to be worn on.

I want a girlfriend.

Single Awareness

2006-02-22T00:37:00.000-05:00

It is dangerous for me being single. I am not saying that I need to be dependent on having a partner, but it's dangerous for me to look for one because, either way, I always wind up in some sort of competition.

Birdy - I had no idea I was competing against anybody for her until after we started going out. It turned out that there were at least three people that had crushes on her besides me. I happened to have beaten one of them by a week on asking her out because the girl was on vacation. Yikes!

Brittany - Quite a story, but too long to explain. It turns out that she has a girlfriend, which she failed to tell me until eight days after they started going out. And in this situation, I was being threatened by the law that could easily throw my ass in jail. Now I can throw the person who was threatening me in jail for being the hypocrite she is, but I'm not that mean. I'm just glad I didn't kiss Brittany.

Sara - She had a girlfriend and still has her. We both like each other and enjoy each other's company. What happens? I kissed her. Our morals were broken on overall commitment with anyone's relationship, and we both thought we were better people than that. She told her girlfriend about it, and now I am being threatened by her. I told someone who was my friend who happened to have known the both of them through Sara's younger sister. She became outraged and punched me several times in the stomach and once in the face. She's threatening my life as well.

Each situation keeps becoming more and more dangerous for me. I need to stop and wait for someone to show up and come after me instead of me going after them. I need to stop looking. Period. I may start becoming incredibly lonely, but if it's saving me from being thrown in jail or physically being harmed, this will be a smart move.

Lack of Esteem.

2006-02-09T07:33:00.000-05:00

Last night I started thinking, and my self-esteemed lowered. I wanted to rant about this in my LiveJournal, but some of this is too personal. I need to get this out, but no one is awake this early in the morning. I figured it would be best to talk about it in here, since I only have about two readers as it is.

What bothers me the most is how skinny I am. I am a twig. I weigh between 115 and 120 pounds (Weight varies due to water weight). My overall body structure is boney as hell. I have muscle in the arms, legs, and stomach, but nowhere else. You can see my ribs, and I cannot comfortably sit on somebody's lap because my butt will just dig into their thighs, no matter how light I am. It is almost impossible for me to gain weight. If I could, I would gain 10 pounds. That would involve having me to eat twice, possibly three times the calorie intake, and that is hard to keep track of with my schedule. If I gain weight, it might cause me to lose my perfect stomach, but I cannot control on where all of the fat content goes.

It's just that when I woke up this morning, I did not feel comfortable in my own skin. Then again, I wish there were a lot of things different about my body: Fuller breasts, a non-crooked spine, clearer skin, a smaller nose, etc. Maybe with gaining weight, my breast size can increase (Which I highly doubt will happen), and maybe one day I'll have clear skin, but everything else takes surgery which is something I never wish to go through if I want to change my body.

I wish I was better at graphic design or art in general. I have not finished a single piece of independent artwork ever since I graduated from high school, and I'm the one who needs to build a portfolio. I have all of this confidence thinking that I'll still have the talent, but I highly doubt it's as "good" as what it was back in high school. I honestly no longer see myself successfully getting anywhere in the business world. My graphic design career will just be a side job while I work as possibly a secretary for some guy who runs a low-end job. I no longer see web design becoming a side job because of my lack of effort.

I am completely embarassed talking about this, but I'm lucky enough to have the guts to post about this, and that is I am honestly convinced that I am bad at sex. I have only slept with one person, and yet I was never told how my overall performance was. I never watch pornography, I was never given tips from anybody, I know for a fact that I have horrible rhythm, and my stamina doesn't do justice. I have been told that I'm a good kisser, but I think that was only said for flattery. I have been told that I'm also good with my hands, but that's said after I give back or neck massages.

What can I do to make it better? What needs to be done on my part? The part that gets to me most, will I be better or worst than their previous partner? The next time I get into bed with somebody, I want to know that I will be able to please them, and I don't have that confidence.
I have no confidence about myself in general whether it's about my body or whatever I do.

HTML Coding Pissoff.

2006-01-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

The website's coding is highly unstable and is starting to piss me off. It needs to be changed. I have been wanting to make this happen for over two months now, but laziness has taken over.

I will eventually make this XHTML/CSS valid... One day.

Late Night Rambling.

2006-01-10T04:51:00.000-05:00

I seem to be falling out of the blogging world. It has become more of a habit than a hobby. Maybe it is because I try to restrict myself to traditional five-paragraph format, with those paragraphs ranging from six to eight sentences, forming a thesis and proving your point by using examples and analyzing those examples. As professional it can make my posts seem and help me get A's on final term papers, it gets old trying to keep it that way.

I seem to only be posting for you; all of those who read this. I am surprised if I still even have a single reader viewing my blog. I try to keep this blog maintained and go into technicalities of a certain situation that you guys could probably care less about. I am not saying that those posts will stop, but I feel as if I am leaving my personal life out of this. I post more on my LiveJournal than this, which was a blogging world that I tried so hard to stubbornly avoid for quite some time.

I wanted to be professional (Actually, I still want to), but it's leaving this empty hole into my blog. Yes, so I have interests and goals, but they are mainly focused on materials. What about people? What if I do not feel like proving a point, but only wish to express a feeling? It might turn this blog into a LiveJournal-styled one, but hopefully it will be more focused than random.

I miss blogging for the sheer joy of it, always feeling accomplished after letting my flowing words publish into another dimension of information. I miss knowing that people still read this. This is the first time in months that I actually do not mind posting on this blog. Maybe it's because it's 5:09 in the morning. Maybe it's because I have nothing better to do at that time. Who knows? What really bothers me is that I really did care less if people read this blog or not.

I wanted to make this blog something. I still do. I lack the motivation for it, though. I would love to bring people back into reading this again. I want people to know about me. I wanted to make this my permanent home on the internet. I have been doing a horrible job in keeping that up, and I would like to change that.

I need to start posting in this again. For me.

Creative Spark!

2005-12-26T16:03:00.000-05:00

Okay, so in the back of my head I've been wanting a string of white Christmas lights for my bedroom. These are not to be used as just decorating purposes, but for actual lighting because the "lucious" (Just a fancy name for burgundy) paint on my walls makes it very difficult for lumination... And I do not feel like buying another lamp. The question is, "Where am I going to put these?" The problem that bothers me most is that I simply do not want to see these being tackily arrange around possibly my window or wrapped around anything. I refuse to see the green wiring anywhere.

The biggest idea I had for these Christmas lights (If I ever did obtain these lights) was to create linear design out of copper pipes, drill holes onto the bottom, and stick an individual bulb through each hole, and have this hang on my ceiling. I saw a few problems with this:

1) All of the plumbing tools are up north at my cottage
2) All of the unwanted copper pipes are up north at my cottage
3) I do not feel like spending money
4) How am I going to hang this on my ceiling with being content that it will not fall?
5) What if the entire string burns out?
6) I will still see the wiring as it is due to having to plug these lights in on the wall sockets.

That idea was blown. But, I now actually have a string of lights to myself, and I still want to use them, but how? I started to look around my room for ideas. I stared at my bed... For quite some time. If you have seen my room, you would notice that the darkest area is the corner where my bed is in.

This is a view of my headboard on a normal day without any lighting.

This is a view of my headboard with a light shining at it.

The lack of light in that area has always bothered me. I looked at the design of my headboard and I had a creative spark. I can simply plug in the lights to the socket behind my bed, and attatch the lights to the back of it, hiding the lighting in general but make it seem as if my headboard is glowing. I'm pretty sure all of you viewers out there are asking why I am not simply turning on the reading lamp for lumination, but that is because after a long period of use, the body heats up to the point where one cannot touch it for any longer than a second. I want something that can be turned on and stay on without having it being a bother. So, I think this is a wonderful idea.

My only question now is, "What household items can I use that will make the lights stay, not damage the headboard, or leave behind any residue?"

Beginning To Look A Lot Like...

2005-12-24T05:08:00.000-05:00

Christmas has been a long and hard debate for me this year; a debate between giving and receiving. A few weeks ago, my mother mentioned that due to lack of money, my brother and I are not receiving a lot this year. This was nothing new. We have been told the same ever since the ending of 2001, the beginning of my father's long-term unemployment due to the results of 9/11. With my father's heart attack back in July, the money situation became worse. At one point, I became convinced that we were not receiving anything what-so-ever. This was because my mother always asks before Thanksgiving. But, she eventually came up to me and asked me the question.

"What do you want for Christmas this year?" This was where the debate began. Did I or did I not want to have a non-consumerist Christmas this year? Last year was a complete failure, resulting as me receiving not the largest quantity in gifts, but the largest quantity in price (I ‹3 my iPod). But, if I wanted to not receive gifts this year, this was the perfect moment to speak up now. My right to speak was provoked by one last comment from my mother, "You are not getting much, so think of one nice gift you would like to have." As I thought about it, one gift would not hurt, but since I was planning on receiving nothing, what did I want?

The ideas for gifts ran through my head: A car (But, that I need to buy on my own), a DELL UltraSharp 2405FPW 24" widescreen LCD monitor (But, that will need a new graphics card, extra RAM and a bigger hard drive), or maybe even a leather jacket (But, I am loved enough as it is with my uber-comfy, yet not-so-sexy "burnt marshmallow" jacket... And my mother has bad taste). All of these gifts are quite costly which made me start to think that I should have told my mother that I do not want anything this year. Then, I started thinking about a gift that I certainly would not mind having, but something that I never took seriously: Headphones. Noise-canceling, long-chorded, high-quality headphones for my iPod and late-night computer use when I would like to have the music louder than what my parents can tolerate. To make sure this request was put into the right hands, I went directly to my father. If his credit card could tolerate it, he would know better to buy me a set of Bose QuietComfort headphones, but one can only dream. This made me wonder what my brother would ask for Christmas.

There was no doubt in my mind that my brother wanted items for his XBox, mainly two extra controllers to complete the collection of four that an XBox can only hold. But, I never buy gifts for my brother, so what could I get for him? A while back I bought a can of Axe® Pheonix for personal use. Both my brother and I love the scent, so we constantly share it with each other. The problem being was that since the brand was designed for men, he claims that the can is his and takes it with him whenever he goes up north or out to Fort Lansing for the weekends. The first time that this has happened, I was not too happy. But, he apologized and told me that he left all of his toiletry up north from his last visit there (Which was true). A couple weeks later, he did the same thing again, but kept his normal deodorant back at home. I was pissed.

This second attempt made it clear on what to buy him for Christmas: Every scent of Axe® deodorant spray I could get my hands on. According to the official Axe® website, there are only nine scents. When I shopped at a local CVS, I could only find eight:

- Unlimited
- Touch
- Essence
- Tsunami
- Pheonix
- Voodoo
- Kilo
- Apollo

$50 worth of scents. The only one that the store did not have in stock was Axe® Orion. Either way, I will never again have to worry about my brother stealing my can of Axe® Pheonix ever again. He will now have to worry about me taking a can with me for a night or weekend out of the house. I was now set on my brother, now what about my parents?

It has been tradition to hand my latest pieces of artwork over to my parents as a Christmas present. With me lacking an art class to get the motivation to create artwork, I have no drawings or paintings to give, but this year I have money. I thought I was set on buying them the first season of Desperate Housewives, but then I have realized that the season might only be watched by me, and that was not fair. But, on a Sunday morning I woke up and the idea for the "perfect gift" hit me: DVDs. Lots and lots of DVDs. $400 worth of DVDs, to be precise.

The reason being for spending such a large amount is not only because my family and I have complained about lacking a DVD collection, but because these are for everybody, including myself. Not to mention that this is the perfect opportunity to spoil my family at Christmas for once. $400 worth may seem a lot, but the variety is divided up based on all of us having interest, but one person liking certain movies more than the rest. So technically, $100 worth of DVDs were spent on each of us, which I believe is appropriate. So what DVDs did I get? Here's the list:

- Godfather DVD collection
- Indian Jones DVD collection
- Austin Powers DVD Collection
- The Matrix Trilogy
- Madagascar
- The Incredibles
- The Nightmare Before Christmas
- Lemony Snicket and a Series of Unfortunate Events
- Big Fish
- Benny and Joon
- Boondock Saints
- Blazing Saddles
- Young Frankenstein
- Spaceballs
- O Brother, Where Art Thou?
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Spice World

To help me find what I wanted to get, I invited my friend Gryphon along. Gryphon is a genius on making life miserable in a humorous manner. So, when adding up the amount of DVDs I had, he came up with quite the evil plan: Individually wrap each item, place them into multiple boxes, wrap those boxes, then place all of them into a large box, wrapping that one as well. I liked his idea, so I had to make another trip to buy these boxes. I did not follow the plan completely because I wanted to save time... And money... And paper.

Instead of wrapping the DVDs individually, I grouped them together based on collection (ie: The Matrix Trilogy), director (ie: Mel Brooks), main action (ie: Johnny Depp), and even style (ie: Madagascar and The Incredibles). I would wrap those groups and place them into two separate boxes, with those boxes being the same size. The boxes will be sealed with packaging tape, then wrapped in newspaper. Why newspaper? Because. I got lazy with the can of Axe® deodorant spray, and decided to group the eight cans together and wrap Scotch® tape around them to reduce the sound of clanging. But, these cans were placed inside of a skinnier box to be able to tell it from the rest. This box was also sealed in packaging tape, but has a message written on one of the sides, "Here, fucking take it and leave me shit alone!" (Yes, I wrote down 'me' based on an unrecognized spelling error I made in a LiveJournal post). This package was also wrapped in newspaper. All of these three boxes were placed in the largest-sized box the store had, sealed and wrapped as well.

Why am I going through all of this? I really want to make Christmas enjoyable this year. It feels as if I never put forth the effort to actually give more than what I receive, and now I can. For once in my life I have Christmas spirit. I actually enjoy listening to Christmas music, and I cannot wait to see the look on my family's faces when they open up their presents on Christmas morning. For once I can honestly express that I am looking forward to seeing people's reactions and emotions given through gifts than figuring out what I did receive for Christmas. I cannot wait.

Life Update

2005-12-13T09:24:00.000-05:00

A month later without a post. Don't worry, I'm still alive. Life has just been hectic lately. If I'm not at school, I'm at work. If I'm not at work, I'm with friends. If there's no time to hang out between school and work, I'm sleeping. If I'm at home and not with friends, I'm going homework.

The semester officially comes to an end after on the 19th. I finished my Political Science paper on Sunday, which was on same-sex marriage. I honestly think I could have done better on it, and elaborated on a few areas though. I'm planning on posting it here eventually. I sent the paper to my friend to proofread, and mind you, she has done A/B papers for her high school and college friends, so she's pretty good. The only criticism she had? It's too professional. That's the lowest amount of criticism she ever gave to somebody. That made me smile.

I'm excited about Christmas this year. I do have a written post on that, all I just need to do is type it. It's very long. Very, VERY long.

I also can't wait until Christmas break. I have so many plans on things to do: Paintings, web design (Go figure, when am I not?), and READING! *GASP*

Yeah, this post isn't special. It's going to be deleted in the future anyways, but I just wanted to let you viewers out there (Probably just my cousin) that I'm alive.

Oh, and my love life is a bitch.

Break Up.

2005-11-19T22:44:00.000-05:00

I am now officially single, hence me becoming a swinging single.

That was the best break up anyone could ever have.

Damn, it just makes me want her more. :P

Test Taking Jinx

2005-11-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

It was a bad idea to mention how lucky I am when it came to school-related work because it turned out that I had nothing but tests for the next two days of classes. The pathetic part about this was that I did not know tests were suppose to be given those days. There was the HIST 134 (Ancient World History) test, the ART 115 (Art History) test, and the POLS 105 (Survey of American Government) test. The only class that was not given a test, and never will, is my ENG 101 (English) class. ENG 101 is devoted to professional writing where grades are based and judged by the student's skills and not to be tested on questions that should ask the student how one should be writing. That class should not give tests to begin with. As for the others, tests are needed.

In HIST 134, there was an idea that a test was to be given soon. The talks of the upcoming written exam, focused on the development of the Roman Constitution starting in the 5th century BCE., means that there was to be a test given on the rest of the lecturer material before then. The question simply was, "When?" If I had a mind that was not constantly focused on upcoming projects, both academic and independent, I would have had the sense to check in the class' syllabus to check the date of the testing. Sadly, this never happened, hence having me to walk into a classroom full of students flipping through their notes, trying to do some last-minute cramming before the test. Luckily, my professor believes that the best technique in doing well on your test is to do it individually, split up into groups, go into separate rooms, and debate the answers there. One would figure that any student would get an easy "A", but when having a professor with a PhD in History, there will be much information to be given to the point where it is impossibly for an average student, such as myself, to remember every bit of that information. My group and I wound up receiving a 33/50 (= 66% => D) but nothing can now be done to change it, unlike my ART 115 class.

The ART 115 test was the one that had me claim myself as lucky. Of course, this has led me to jinxing myself, forgetting to study for that test. On my last test my teacher (Too oblivious and gullible to the point where he should not be titles a 'professor') made a few personal errors, causing him to give not everyone, but most students a 100%. I was one of the students that received 100%. I am aware of the fact that receiving a law grade would be my personal doing, but there is still hope that my teacher will make the same mistakes once more. The earliest to figure out my grade would be on Monday, along with my POLS 105 test.

The POLS 105 test was a sigh of relief. I did not study for this test, but I worked on the review sheet the last time we met, leaving some answers memorized in the back of my mind. On the day of the test, we have just finished the lecture of the chapter we were tested on. Talk about a pop quiz. On that day I was exhausted to the point where I was going to leave during break so I could go home and sleep. Something told me that leaving would be a bad idea, so instead of risking anything, I stayed. At this point, I am patting myself on the back for following my instincts and saving me from a loss of 100 points. I am pretty sure that I will not receive all of the 100 points, but it was better than receiving none.

After all that has happened as a cause of mentioning about my luck with school-related work, I see this as the downfall of my GPA for the fall semester of my freshman year in college. This post was written for only one purpose: To remind myself to never again mention about my luck, no matter of what the situation is. I never really believed in being 'jinxed' because there was always some logical reasoning behind the causes, but these past two or three days have just been overall ridiculous. My parents are disappointed in me because I have told them about the situation, and something could have possibly been done to prevent all of this, but that prevention has never happened. So, when I look back at this post, hopefully it shall remind me to never again mention about my so-called 'luck'.

They Call Me "Lucky"

2005-11-14T09:28:00.000-05:00

I swear I always luck out when it comes to school related work, whether it would be projects, essays, or just regular homework.

During the entire weekend I was always thinking that I was forgetting to do something, but I could not figure out what. Was it Political Science? But, I already did the homework for that class and printed out the recently published review sheets, so nothing needs to be studied for since we just had a test. We also never have homework in my Ancient World History class, and we weren't assigned any homework in English because we had our impromptu essay for last class. What about Art History? There was something about that. Was it the Romanesque project? That's not due until later, plus no one in the entire class knows where to go to work on that. So, by last night, I figured I would sleep on it.

This morning when I woke up, it hit me. I have a test today in my Art History class. As you would have guessed, I never studied for it. This is the second test throughout the entire semester, and each of these are worth 100 points. The rest of the homework or everything else that were assigned range from 1 to 10 points. Fuck.

I go to school, hoping that my teacher (Being the old, senial man he is) will figure that he made a mistake and give everyone 100s again, but that's just me. So I get to class, sit down, and notice that the teacher wasn't there. Odd. I figured he was stuck in traffic, so I flipped through my binder to find the study guide and cram in as much information as I possibly can. Not even two minutes later, a woman walks into the room and asks if this is Art History. Of course, with her being correct, we all told her "Yes". It turns out that class was canceled, leaving me a couple extra days to study for this test.

Boo-freakin'-yeah.

Not Left Hanging

2005-11-13T13:58:00.000-05:00

So what happened prior to the "We need to talk"? Well, it turns out that Birdy was no longer happy on the relationship level and was not able to decide whether the relationship should be ended or not. It's not just her who believes this because I admitted the same feelings as well. So, it's the both of us.

The reason being for all of this is because, to sum it all up, I have failed to satisfy her as a girlfriend. Don't worry, I have nothing against her. It's just that I never pay her back the respects that she gives me, which is a perfectly good reason to be pissed off at me. I would be pissed off at her if we traded shoes. But, she has told me over and over again that I basically never put forth a satisfying amount of effort into the relationship as she bends over backwards doing all of the work. It's true.

You would figure that since everything is my fault, I would easily make a change about it. Well, I've tried, starting two to three weeks ago to be more precise (I know, I've started way too late). Now I'm just doing everything out of force, completely defeating the purpose of having meaning behind all of it. She's still not happy and she no longer tries to hide the fact that she isn't. So, we both decided to take a break to reflect back on the relationship. That was Wednesday.

ALL of our friends wants us to go back together because they're stuck with the memories from back when we were in high school when we first started going out. Her family could give a shit about us breaking up because they think I'm rude (Never properly introduced myself to them), anti-social (Too shy for my own good), and too much of a "Good Two Shows" (Not coming from a disfunctional family). They would honestly rather have her date her lesbian roommate. My family, on the other hand, is a toss-up. Half of the people choose to ignore it, and the other half constantly reminds the entire world day after day that their cousin/neice is a raging lesbian and has a kick ass girlfriend. So one half of the family would most likely want me to start dating boys again, the other half would smack me upside the head for failing in keeping a relationship alive, and there would probably be two or three who would be in complete denial and say "Oh, well... She wasn't good enough for you anyways. Good for you, kicking her to the curb!" Now, I know some of my family members read this, but if you fucking say that or anything related to me, I will loose all fucking respect for you because of your fucking ignorance.

Birdy was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am never going to regret the fact that I asked her to be my girlfriend. I still love her and she still loves me, but titling ourselves "girlfriends" just creates a chain around our necks. I have kicked myself over and over again, wishing that I have made a difference in the beginning after the first time she opened her mouth. Continuing the relationship will just bring back the same pain, the same unhappiness, and nothing will get changed because I will still be doing everything by force.

So, on Wednesday, I'm going to tell her that it's over...

This doesn't mean that I no longer wish to be friends with her. I honestly think we would just be better as friends. She'll still be a part of my life, but on a level that has lower intimacy.

If anyone is to choose sides as a result of this, I want everyone against me. I would rather lose friends than have everyone lose even just the smallest amount of respect for Birdy. There is nothing wrong with her. Just because everything is my fault doesn't mean she's high maintenance. I just want her to be happy, and I believe that ending this relationship would be not the best, but the most logical way of doing so.

Written @ 1:40pm

2005-11-07T14:55:00.000-05:00

"We need to talk." The four words you never want to hear from a woman. If these words were to take action after the sentence was finished, you're screwed. If you were given some time to think about what will be talked about, you're still screwed. The topic will most likely be something that you would never think of because if you know what was going to be talked about, you would have dome something about it to help prevent from having "the talk" come up again. Now if you were given time, but decided to run away, you screwed yourself over.

Why is there no way out of this situation? If there was a way, then any male in this country would really be considered a "free man". It boggles my mind on how these words can cause so much stress, fear, and other mental instabilities instantly. I guess this is why man does not have complete control over the world. The women know how to keep them under restraint.

So if you are wondering, yes, yes I did receive those four words from my girlfriend, and just over an hour ago. I'm writing this post on looseleaf during my Political Science class. I honestly have no clue on what needs to be talked about. This is most certainly a death walk, and I'm obviously not willing to take it. But, I have to, and either way the results will never end up to be pretty.

[EDIT @ 3:23pm] The real reason why this is scaring me because my girlfriend said it to me during mid-kiss.

Acception

2005-11-05T22:44:00.000-05:00

It is normal for me to not eat an actual meal when I work. When I do work, I'm always working until closing, which is roughly around 9:30pm. So I go home and eat dinner around 10:00pm. Well, my parents had company over tonight. When there is company, there is always beer. There was so much beer in the fridge that it was blocking the milk. I was too lazy to take out the cases of beer from the fridge to grab the milk, so I had a beer with my dinner. God forbid!

Anyways, while I was eating dinner I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. We got off shortly after because she was tired, which is understandable because she works 10-12 hour shifts every day of the week. But hey, 70+ hour weeks at $8.50 an hour makes a pretty hefty paycheck.

After I got off the phone, my father comes into the kitchen.

"So how's life? Was that Birdy you were talking to on the phone?"
"Yes."
"How come you never see her anymore?"
"Well she's the manager of her store, working 70 hours a week while I have school and work combined, so it's pretty tough to fit our social schedule in between."
"Well I'm glad that you guys are ambitious."

That made me smile. After 21 months of going out with this wonderful woman, I finally get a sign of support from my parents! Well, technically from my father. I'm pretty sure my mother is still in denial. Maybe it's because he is finally realizing that she made me happy? Either way, hearing that from my father turned my shitty day upside down.

Rosa Parks

2005-10-25T09:18:00.000-04:00

1913-2005

Printer - User Error

2005-10-24T06:48:00.000-04:00

Just like your average student, a long-term paper is due the next day but you just so happen to begin and end the entire essay the day before it's due, mainly on a Sunday. I pulled that stunt last night. The problem? The printer wouldn't print. I remember my father cursing and swearing because he could not figure out why. Was is the hub? Was it his laptop? Was it the actual printer?

In desparation, I left a note card in front of my parents' bedroom door last night in hopes that my mom would see it the next morning and wake up my father to fix the problem before I head off to school.

Dad,

Fix the printer A.S.A.P.! Paper is due this morning. Another paper due this afternoon. :(

I would have spent the entire night trying to fix the problem, but I had to cut off my brother from his precious game of Day of Defeat: Source (Gamer's rule #73: Never interupt a gamer in the middle of a game). Of course, I haven't even started on my other paper that is due this afternoon, which is why I'm coming home between classes to work on it.

Luckily my mother woke me up at 6:00am (Yay! Running on less than four hours of sleep!) to start fixing the printer. She wanted me to wake up my father. I had a gut feeling that the printer error could simply be fixed, so I tried it myself. First of all, I went to all of the computers to cancel all [soon-to-be] printing documents on all three computers. Then I restarted the computer... Just to see if that would work. The printer still was not doing anything so I dug through the hardware drawer of a dresser kept in the room to find the old school printing cable. I unplugged the printer, took all of the wires and hung them over the desk, plugged them back in, then plugged in the printing cable. It started working. Score. My father comes in five minutes after to see about the problem. I sent him back to bed. He was happy.

So the error had to be through the USB connection. I remember earlier this week my father tried plugging in the cable in different USB sockets and still would not be recognized, but it recognized my 124MB jumpdrive last night, which meant that it had to be the wire itself. Well, I shrugged it off, unplugged all of the wires from the printer and put it back in its original spot. When I plugged the wires back in, the printer stopped working again.

Joy.

Graphic Requests

2005-10-18T23:27:00.000-04:00

I was contacted by member of a local out-of-state ska band from Montana called Audible and The Mean Gorillas. He is interested in having me create some designs for the band such as a double-sided T-shirt, a round sticker, and the actual artwork for their CD. He came up with the idea of having cartoonish animated music notes, probably drunk or smoking. Well, here's what I came up with:

What do you think?

College Professors

2005-10-17T22:34:00.000-04:00

In September I ran across a thread in Schoolcraft College's MySpace forum about spotting a cross-dressing professor on campus. It was impossible to believe what I was reading because it was too good to be true. Even though a few students were claiming that it is indeed a fact, I still will not believe it until I see it with my very own eyes.

Today I left early from my Political Science class because of the pointlessness of being in there. Today should have been the chapter 5 quiz, but the overall quizzes were not printed out so it was delayed til Wednesday. So after attendance was our break, which was when I left, leaving 30 minutes before scheduled ending time. While walking towards the south parking lot I see a long-haired blonde, holding a briefcase, at the corner of my eye stepping up onto the sidewalk. It look as if she was somewhat in a rush. Out of curiosity, I look at the face of this woman. It was man. He was in a form-fitting black dress, black platform sandals, shaved legs, gold hoop earrings, and a nicely-shaped rack (Roughly a C cup). Holy shit did this person dress better than any other female I see on campus. She needed a wig to cover up the bald spot on the back of his head, but who is really complaining? This person was amazing, and this person made my dream come true. This was the cross-dressing professor that the students were talking about! I kept staring at her in awe, hopefully to have her catch a glimpse to give me a moment to smile and say "Hi!" She did not even bother to look at me, probably because she thought I was portraying her as a "freak to society" or simply because she was in a rush and did not want to have anyone in her way. Oh well, she made my day.

Simple Correction

2005-10-08T19:41:00.000-04:00

I finally fixed the "Top" button. After all of this time, I have finally corrected it. It was just one simple, stupid error that I figured out while examining the HTML Source page of another website.

<td valign="top" align="left" width="33%">
<a href="<$BlogItemPermalinkURL$>">Link</a> | <a href="http://eriney.blogspot.com/#top">Top</a>
</td>

TO

<td valign="top" align="left" width="33%">
<a href="<$BlogItemPermalinkURL$>">Link</a> | <a href="#top">Top</a>
</td>

I'm such a moron.

MySpace Conversation

2005-10-08T16:07:00.000-04:00

In the past week or so I have been receiving random and numerous messages and invitations on MySpace from people who I have no knowledge of how they found me in the first place. Without exaggeration, I now receive at least, at least 20 messages or invitations per day, all from different people. Granted, half of them are invitations from out-of-the-state local bands I have never heard or have any interest in (Except for a band from the United Kingdom, but they're European. They're just simply better than everything else), and a quarter of them are from people who just want to look for good-looking females they can be friends with, but they're still messages/invitations, only deleted or rejected.

One of the random messages I have received was from a 16-year-old lesbian from California. We were talking about our coming out stories, what age it happened and what it was like when we came out to our parents, and if we or our friends were ever sent to groups to "straighten you out". When it came to talking about my parents, I told her what my father and mother exactly told me, "If it's a phase, it's a phase. If it's not, it's not."
She then responded back with,

"How come no one ever says being straight is a phase? ..."

This makes more sense. Every gay person known to man has always started out as being straight because you will not know about your sexuality until you grow, learn, and become more intact with your physical and internal feelings about each sex. People just assume that you're straight ever since the beginning of your existence. But, if you are in the battle of figuring out your sexuality, you are not exactly straight until you are highly convinced of what your true sexuality is. If you turn out to be gay, then being straight was a cover up phase. If you turn out to be straight, you were just confused. But, if you think that you are gay then later become convinced that you are straight or vice versa, which doesn't happen very often unless you're trying to "fit in", you are just either a poser or made a user error and did not carefully examine your feelings for another person. Since about 93% (From personal estimate, not official, so do not quote me on this) "coming outs" are correct reveals of the individuals' true sexuality, we should start considering that "being straight" was most certainly a phase and replace the normal mindset of homosexuality being a phase.

My MySpace Account: http://www.myspace.com/esullivan

Morning Resume

2005-10-07T12:50:00.000-04:00

This morning around 9:00 I checked AIM because it is part of my morning ritual before I officially start my day. My away window said that I have received three messages from my friend Amy.

O C T O R O (11:24:56 PM): send me your business card
O C T O R O (11:25:35 PM): I may have a graphic design job for you
O C T O R O (11:26:18 PM): my brother's work is unhappy with their current business card design made by a "professional" and I know you could do better

Awesome. I instantly started to scan through my computer, trying to find the file I saved for my business card, but I failed in doing so. So the other option was sending in my resume, which was already in the making... And hasn't been touched for quite a while. It was time for an update as it is.

The resume was saved as a .doc file, and I have been meaning to transfer the file into a .pdf format, but I didn't have the time. I wanted to send it in as soon as possible. For finishing this so quickly, I had my father help me on correcting the errors made and to give me tips and pointers about what should be emphasized, what areas should be aligned in a certain way, etc. This told me that I need to learn more about typography, but that's a different day.

This is the final draft of what my resume turned out to be:

I hope I get the job. My last client was extremely impressed with the results of the Garalino's Pizza & Deli logo, and with the thumbnails of the original and final logo on my resume, I hope that can give out an idea of what I am able to accomplish. The more published pieces I have, the higher quality my portfolio will become. This will bring me one step closer into hopefully being accepted to College for Creative Studies, and if I'm really lucky, a scholarship will follow with it (Getting $1,250 from MEAP is a start, but not enough for CCS). The only problem with this job is that I have no knowledge of how much the person was paid for designing the business cards, and what it even looked like. I will obviously charge less and try my best into designing these cards.

This is if they do want me for the job.

The Humble Abode

2005-10-04T23:45:00.000-04:00

As you can already see from the left, these pictures have already been published online. But, I am posting them on here because I have decided to give you a virtual tour of my girlfriend and her roommate's apartment.

We first start with the living room. Here you see two couches. On Saturday, when I was helping moving furniture in, the neighbors were throwing out their couches that were in perfectly good condition. Five minutes later after they were thrown to the side of the dumpster, we grabbed them and put them in the apartment. These are only temporary.

You can only see a little portion of it, but to the left you see the temporary entertainment system. It is equipped with a 15" TV on top of a stereo, and hooked up to the TV is a Playstation 2.

Here in front you see the dining room complete with a table. The neighbors that threw out the couches came over to the apartment the next day and asked Birdy and Chris would also like their dining room set, for free. Of course they took it.

In the far back you see the tightly squeezed kitchen. Don't worry, the liquor cabinet is already in the process of building up.

To the left of where I was standing in taking the previous shot of the dining room, is Chris' room. Here you see my brother Kevin, Birdy, and Chris relaxing and doing their own thing. The other Kevin, not pictured, is also in the room. This room is complete with an inflatable bed, a satellite chair, and tattoo magazines. This room has been dubbed as the "Smoking Room".

Here you see the hallway. To the left are closets which are currently occupied by a row of DVD's, CD's, and a few pieces of decoration that will be put up later in the future. The closet farthest away is full of bathroom material.

To the far right of the hallway is Birdy's room, complete with future decorations and a satellite chair. God bless the satellite chairs.

Last but not least, my favorite, the bathroom. Complete with a sink, toilet, shower tub, and a magazine stand. This stand isn't filled with Reader's Digest or TIME. Oh no. It is filled with Filler Bunny, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, and other mind-numbing but yet so entertaining comics. In my honest opinion, I think they need at least one Reader's Digest book... From the 1980s.

Thank you for taking the virtual tour! I hope you have enjoyed it. Please watch your step and have a nice day.

Girlfriend News.

2005-09-27T23:42:00.000-04:00

Our 20 month anniversary is tomorrow. Yippee!

It has been three days since I have last spoken to my girlfriend. It's been a week and a half since I have seen her last. I haven't been able to get a hold of her on her cell phone because it has been turned off. She shows up at my house today around 9:00pm, letting me know that she's still alive and that she still loves me. She gives me updates on what's going on:

- Her cell phone was stolen, hence why it has been turned off for over a day. It wasn't because of lack of battery or she was trying to ignore me. She might know who would have stolen it.

- She is in the process of being promoted from assistant manager to manager. Her manager is being transferred to the store in Grand River. She is hiring her old friend, having experience in management, as her assistant manager.

- Her and her friend/assistant got an apartment together. It's a two bedroom, 900 square foot apartment for $650. The apartment complex is right behind her work, which is down the street from her house. The both of them are moving in Friday.

- She got kick ass pants which she has been dying to show me. Damn did she look hot.

Some are bad, but most are excellent. I'm very proud of her. I shall consider Saturday a celebration. We are going to Downtown Ann Arbor for, what my friend likes to call it, "Dyke Fest". It shall be fun.

Imperfection v2.1

2005-09-25T23:51:00.000-04:00

I have clashed the ugliest of colors together to create this theme. I cannot exactly say whether I am proud about it or not, but what did make me happy is that this is probably the shortest time I have ever spent on creating or even modifying a layout. Knowing me I will end up messing around with the colors a bit more. I did like the image it came from. Of course, I took the picture:

Now I know I keep asking you guys this question everytime a new layout or theme pops up, but I would really appreciate if you did give me feedback. So, what do you think?

Revision and Precision

2005-09-21T18:35:00.000-04:00

Today was the dawn of a new enlightenment. Because of my work's failure to reach weekly sales, payroll had to be cut back. Instead of taking the chance to lay off an employee or two, my managers did the best thing and revised the schedule. There was quite a bit of change, but not so much for myself. The only difference was today's shift, which is no longer existent.

During today's break, I took the time to relax and think about the entire situation because homework's later due date made that activity lower on the "To Do" list. It made me wish how I could have this freedom more often. Being able to sit back and think about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (or lack thereof on a totally different scale) was joyous. My hectic schedule only allows me to think about what will be coming up within the next few hours or so, and never the next couple of days. Why couldn't I experience evens such as this more often? I thought about my weekly schedule.

SUNDAY - ????
MONDAY - ART 115, 9:00am to 10:54am
POLS 105, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
TUESDAY - HIST 134, 10:00am to 12:26pm
ENG 101, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
WEDNESDAY - ART 115, 9:00am to 10:54am
POLS 105, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
THURSDAY - HIST 134, 10:00am to 12:26pm
ENG 101, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
GSA Meeting, 2:30pm to 3:30pm
Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
FRIDAY - Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
Necto, 11:00pm to ??:??am
SATURDAY - Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
City Club, 12:00am to ??:??am

To make a note in the schedule, I [try to] get eight hours of sleep per night, and it takes me from twenty to thirty minutes to get to and from school and work when leaving from or going to my home. Whatever blank spaces are left out are available times for homework. When adding up the available times, I have much time to do my homework. The major issue is that all available times are spread out, which gives me little time to concentrate.

My main focus was to organize a way where I will be working the same amount of hours that I have asked for (started off with 40, reduced down to 20 to 30 hours since school started), but will have much time in between to do my homework. My first thought was to have Fridays off. Even though it would have been nice to have me and my girlfriend's "day" off, the idea was soon dropped because homework never gets done on a Friday. Saturdays will be kept because work is never a hassle during the University of Michigan football games. Thursdays would have been nice because it allows me to not be in a rush to leave the Gay-Straight Alliance meetings. Then again, most of the times GSA ends before 3:30pm. Wednesdays? But, I have from then until Sunday to finish my homework... Thursdays I have until Monday to finish. What about Mondays and Tuesdays? That only gives me two days to finish the homework, and my free times are taken up by work. Is there any possible way of having those two days off from working? I had to think about my working schedule:

SUNDAY - N/A
MONDAY - 4:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
TUESDAY - 4:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
WEDNESDAY - 4:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
THURSDAY - 4:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
FRIDAY - 4:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
SATURDAY - *2:00pm to 9:30pm, 7 hours

TOTAL - 32 hours

*30 minutes taken out of schedule due to meal breaks.

My mission was then to organize the schedule to see if I will be able to work for the 20 to 30 hours during the week without my schedule becoming too overwhelming. First I had to completely eliminate Monday and Tuesday from the schedule. This will leave my Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. As for Wednesday and Thursday, I will have to work the normal five hour shifts. The Wednesday and Thursday shifts already give me 10 hours. This leaves me 20 more hours to work with. I can start working Sunday, which is only open for 8 hours during the day (*11:00am to 7:30pm). This will give me 12 hours left to deal with. At this point, I have two more days to fill up: Friday and Saturday. To split up the workload evenly, I will obviously have to divide 12 by half, which will give me 6 hours. Working 6 hour shifts on Fridays and Saturdays is something that I certainly do not mind. So my revised working schedule was written down:

SUNDAY - *11:00am to 7:00pm, 8 hours
MONDAY - N/A
TUESDAY - N/A
WEDNESDAY - 4:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
THURSDAY - 4:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
FRIDAY - 3:00pm to 9:30pm, 5 hours
SATURDAY - 3:00pm to 9:30pm, 7 hours

TOTAL - 30 hours

*30 minutes taken out of schedule due to meal breaks.

It is a good thing when you're pleased after looking at the schedule. The way it works is pleasing as well. You first start off slowly, taking step by step. As you are getting used to the small shifts, the hours gradually add up. When the shift finally becomes too overbearing, it ends, following a two day break. You can look at the schedule as a weekend. After the "weekend", it starts all over again.

So the final schedule should look like this:

SUNDAY - Work, 11:00am to 7:00pm
MONDAY - ART 115, 9:00am to 10:54am
POLS 105, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
TUESDAY - HIST 134, 10:00am to 12:26pm
ENG 101, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
WEDNESDAY - ART 115, 9:00am to 10:54am
POLS 105, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
THURSDAY - HIST 134, 10:00am to 12:26pm
ENG 101, 1:00pm to 2:20pm
GSA Meeting, 2:30pm to 3:30pm
Work, 4:00pm to 9:30pm
FRIDAY - Work, 3:00pm to 9:30pm
Necto, 11:00pm to ??:??am
SATURDAY - Work, 3:00pm to 9:30pm
City Club, 12:00am to ??:??am

What is really nice about this schedule is that because clubbing costs money, there will be times where I will not go, which will give me extra time for homework.

I am very pleased with this schedule. Now all I need to do is talk to my managers about the change and have their approval.

Instant Decisions

2005-09-16T20:15:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up, and I told myself, "You know what, Self? I'm going to get my ears pierced today." That is exactly what I did.

An extra lobe piercing on each ear, and a cartelidge piercing on my right ear.

Calling All Men!

2005-09-14T22:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, for all of you she-liking males out there, bisexuals and heteros alike, I have a question... But, I'll tell you the story behind it first.

Last Friday/Saturday (Can't remember for the life of me) I had a male customer, maybe in his mid-twenties. It was near closing-time, and at that point, I really wanted to go home. All I said was "Hi", didn't even bother to ask for his zip code, just rang up his items, told him his total, bagged his stuff, and tried sending him on his way. I wasn't looking at him, and we never engaged in a conversation. We didn't connect in anyway at all except for the fact that I was his chosen cashier, and he was my customer. When I gave him his bag, he asks me, "Can I call you sometime?"

...What the fuck?

Now my question is: Is that normal for you men to do that?

In-Between Blogging

2005-09-13T12:07:00.000-04:00

Even though I should be spending these short 30 minutes to do my homework, I choose to stay up into the late hours of the night to finish them off. Because of this, I am realizing that maybe working 30 hours a week is a little bit much. Having one to two hour breaks in between classes just might not be enough as it is. I don't have a computer on hand to type up my essays, along with doing research, and I'm too lazy to go to the library. At least I can read... All of the five chapters I need to catch up on in both my Art History and English books, along with reading the chapter on Political Science. No time to read the rest of the trilogy to Beauty's Punishment. Hmph. It will be a while before I return those books back to my cousin.

My friends and family are starting to complain that they never get to see me anymore because of school and especially work. But at least they're happy that I'm getting a hefty amount of money in my paychecks, unlike my brother.

As much as I would like to type more (God forbid if I can even figure out anything else to type), school calls.

Oh Joyous News!

2005-09-09T14:04:00.000-04:00

I forgot to tell you that last night I found out that one of my coworkers is gay. Damn my gaydar has been improving more rapidly than I have expected. I'm not sure if he knows that I am as well. I'll know sooner or later. Now, I'm questioning about one more worker...

Busy, Busy, Busy.

2005-09-09T00:19:00.000-04:00

I've been so busy lately! This is typically my schedule: wake up, go to school, go to work, do some homework, sleep. It's hard to fit friends in between, even girlfriend time! But, at least I'm getting $500 paychecks.

College turned out to be better. It turns out that my Art History teacher was a former teacher from College for Creative Studies. Half of the students there are planning on transferring over there, such as myself. So Wednesday I was able to interact with those students sitting around me, trying to figure out what I need to do to get accepted, and how to stay at Schoolcraft for as long as I possibly can. The only problem about this class is that my girlfriend's worst and most hated enemy is in it. We didn't sit near each other, spoke to each other, or even made eye contact. But, I do know for sure that she knows that I exist in that classroom. It is immature to glare at each other, think lower of them, and refuse to get along with them, but if you knew her past and what she does you wouldn't want to be friends with her. There is a reason why she's my girlfriend's most hated enemy. What sucks is that she lives in my subdivision.

As for Political Science, my teacher is certainly a Democrat. The first question he asks when he walks into the room, "How many of you think the government dropped the ball on taking care of the hurricane situation?" Of course every single student, including myself, raise my hand in agreement. A student raises his voice and asks if he knew whether or not Bush was taking a three day vacation instead of taking care of the victims, and my teacher said that he didn't know, but he wouldn't be surprised if that's what Bush did.

I get about a two hour break in between classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, which gives me time to do my homework, listen to music, and even to socialize. I'd rather spend it as homework time, but chatting helps me get a break as well.

Because of my current schedule, I haven't had the time to carefully write out or proofread my journal entries. I'm too tired or I don't have time. In this situation, I'm just too tired. Good night.

Nothing Special

2005-09-06T23:49:00.000-04:00

College is alright. I haven't experienced the life of it, yet. But, so far I've only been going to one class. Two other classes start tomorrow. The other one starts on the 22nd. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Harvard on the Rouge

2005-09-01T07:24:00.000-04:00

Only locals will get the joke of the title.

Well, today is the first day of college. Honestly, I should feel excited, but I'm really not. I did wake up before 7:00 this morning without an alarm clock so that should tell me that I'm a little excited. I'm just not getting the "Yay! It's first day of school!" and "Damn! It's the first day of school!" feelings bunched together. It's more like a "Meh..." type feeling.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I only have to go in for just one class, then it's one really long weekend? Maybe it's because I know it will feel like high school all over again. Maybe it's because I know I'm wasting a year here. Maybe I'll feel that back to school feeling when I go next week. Who knows?

What's funny is that since I work at OfficeMax, there's a lot of things I'm looking forward to buying for back to school supplies. What's even better is that I get a 10% employee discount. I probably could create a scam and give the local OfficeMax some tax exempt number to lower the costs even more, but that's just cheating. My store does it for Ann Arbor public schools, why can't it be done for Canton/Plymouth public schools? Not to mention that if the POS system screws up on actual sales, I can put the state law down on them and force them to pay me $5. Wow, I've learned so much just by working in sales.

I even wrote down a list yesterday on what to by thus far, but clumsy me, I left it at work. At least I have a mental note.

- Black gel pens
- Assorted colored highlighters
- Four 1 1/2" Binders
- Binder accessories (Sheet protectors, binder pockets, dividers, etc.)
- Eight packettes of looseleaf
- Plastic divided folder

I'm not sure what else I will need. I hate the idea of having notebooks. But what about mechanical pencils? I need to buy electrical tape for my bag before the loops snap in half and I'll have to start carrying it by the handle like a briefcase. I hate the idea of that too. Decisions, decisions.

Well, since it's roughly 7:45 in the morning and I have nothing else to do until around 11:00, I believe I'll grab myself some coffee and play a little Well of Souls: The cheasiest, cheapest, corniest, but yet somehow an addicting RPG game that normally most people would be embarassed about admitting that they play it. I will also be looking up car sales because my father is really pushing me into getting one which will force me to have to take a loan from the bank, which is an idea that I also do hate. Have fun, children!

Textamerica Moblog

2005-08-30T02:08:00.000-04:00

Having a camera phone means having a moblog, thanks to TextAmerica. To help advertise my moblog, it's located on the side bar in a nifty, four-panel flash. My page is located under "Home" and of course, the website source is located under "Links".

What suprised me the most is that these pictures actually turn out really decent. I was very surprised. I absolutely love this phone.

Anyways, my link is http://esullivan.textamerica.com/. Book it.

Today has been a very accomplished day. I love it. Now I'm going to bed.

1 Missed Call

2005-08-29T14:27:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to my cousin Erica for figuring out the riddle! You've been added, by the way.

The "IN" Crowd

2005-08-29T12:43:00.000-04:00

I finally have my very own cell phone under my very own name. It turns out that RadioShack couldn't convert the phones, so they put my under an individual contract, under my name, and I can switch to the family plan later. I actually have a responsibility now.

Since many people I do not know could possibly be reading this site, I'll give you a riddle on what my number is for privacy purposes.

The area code is the same as my house number.

-

The first number of the prefix is the same as the first number of the area code.
The second number of the prefix is the same as the third number of the area code.
The third number cannot exist in a physical form.

-

The first three numbers are the same three numbers of the area code, but backwards.
...And if you read up on my posts, the painter for the REMARICA sign confused my house for this number.

Don't comment to see if you have the answer right. Just simply call the number and I'll let you know if you're right. ;)

Wireless Family

2005-08-28T10:53:00.000-04:00

When I was about to go upstairs to get ready for work, my father stopped me to tell me that him and my mother stopped by at the localRadioShack yesterday. In my head I say, "Good for you guys. Want a cookie?" He told me how they were selling Verizon phones and plans over there. That caught my attention, and knowing that they sell that stuff caught his attention to. Well, he handed me a brochure and said that he wouldn't mind getting a family plan. Now in my head I'm saying, "KICK ASS!"

Well the guy can convert my parents' current Nextel phones to Verizon, which means that we only have to buy two phones. The phone that I want has a buy one get one free deal, so that means my brother can get the free one. This is awesome. My only question is, "What about text messaging?" We'll figure that out later.

So now on Monday, my family and I are heading over to RadioShack to get our new phones, new plans, and I won't have to take out even half of my paycheck to pay for all this. Woohoo!

Paycheck Purchasing

2005-08-26T16:49:00.000-04:00

I'm $300 richer (Well, soon to be once I get my $30 from my friend) and I've made crazy decisions.

FIRST DECISION:

I'm going to get a cellphone within the next seven days. The service provider? Verizon Wireless. Reasons why:

1) Their service reaches to my cottage as do Nextel and Cingular.
2) My parents didn't want me to have a Nextel because Nextel doesn't share phone towers with other wireless companies, not to mention they've been wanting to switch phone companies for a while now.
3) I am biased against Cingular because of many complaints heard through friends and family about being screwed over in customer service, and has poor reception in general.

The cellphone I'm getting? A Motorola V276. I mentioned in the past about how I wanted the simplest phone with hardly any features on it. The reason why it's been upgraded is because I honestly enjoy the idea of having a built-in camera. The phone I've chosen is well known for having a camera with horrible quality, but it's a phone, not a camera. The pictures will not be taken for artistic use, but more for creating a moblog. I've been wanting a camera for point-and-shoot purposes, and I've been wanting a phone so people will know how to get a hold of me if I'm out of the house, so with having the V276, I will be killing two birds with one stone.

With the phone and planning, I will have $150 left over. This will force me to wait for my next purchase when I get my next paycheck.

SECEOND DECISION:

I'm going to get a monitor in about three weeks. What monitor? A Dell Ultrasharp 2005FPW 20.1" Flat Panel LCD Monitor. Yes, it is horrible to waste all of your money when you get your first couple of paychecks, but there are a few reasons as to why this decision has been made. These reasons even went through my mother with ease and not having her even a slight bit mad at me for wasting my money, because I'm technically not doing so. Reason why? There's an old Gateway computer sitting in my closet along with an extra mouse, keyboard, and even a scanner. One thing it lacks from use is a monitor. So, if I buy this monitor, I can give my current one to that computer so then the computer can be transported to up north for use.

What is wonderful about this monitor is that not only its max resolution is 1680x1050, but it also rotates 176 degrees. This means that if the monitor is too wide for my desk, I can simply rotate it 90 degrees and have a very tall monitor. Neat, huh? With having a very large monitor, I can have several windows on screen when multiple programs are running, and not have to constantly click on each tab on the task bar to bring up the program that is currently running. This also allows me to view larger-scaled images and also allows me to create them. This means creating desktop backgrounds will work with ease. Simply amazing.

THIRD DECISION:

I will be getting a car. That was already a given because sometime in my life I will be owning one. Today I just discovered that when it comes to deciding on what car to buy, my grandfather will loan me $3,000 to help start it off. He did this for my cousin, and he did this for my brother. My cousin already paid off the loan, but my brother is being the lazy ass he is and lets it fly by. I've made a decision that the max I will be spending on a car is $5,000 and I want it with 80,000 miles or less and the model of the car has to be year 1998 or higher. What I would really like to shoot for is a Mercury Cougar. The only problem is that I have no idea how much the insurance will be on it since it is Mercury's only sports car.

My father told me that he certainly wouldn't mind me getting the car very soon, possibly even by Labor Day because going to work (And soon to be college) will run up the miles like crazy. The only problem is, with doing the math, the earliest I can get the extra $2,000 is if I work for seven weeks.

Now if these three demands are not met, I will be a very angry consumer whore!

Oh yeah, and I'll also need a haircut sometime in between.

Garalino's Pizza & Deli

2005-08-25T23:36:00.000-04:00

I had one very satisfied customer indeed. The only problem is that he didn't like the --> n' <--, he wanted the --> & <--. Damn. I was hoping I could get away with what I originally had, but I don't blame him for wanting that certain symbol. Like a said before, I didn't know how to draw it. But, thanks to my quick thinking I could draw it in five minutes. I just simply traced on a layer placed over the text symbol, and worked from there. Genius. He also wanted me to extend the middle portion of the "E" on "DELI", so I did that too.

I'm so proud of myself. This is the very first piece of graphic design work that I've done for pay and not for play. I deserve a pat on the back.

Actually, getting the money reminds me of something... I drove home today on empty. It wasn't just in between 1/4 of a tank and E, it was on E. The gas light was on. I would pay for gas except for the fact that my paycheck was just put into my hands less than three hours ago, the bank is already closed by now, I only have $.18 in my wallet, and I have $5 in my checking account. I would have used that $5 but, clumsy me, I left my wallet in the locker over at work which means that I won't get my hands on my banking card until Saturday. I told my dad that the car needs gas and I told my mom about it. My father was fine, and my mother was half asleep when I told her. She'll be pissed at me tomorrow and probably force me to pay the $30 for gas. Damn.

Garalino's Pizza n' Deli

2005-08-25T11:04:00.000-04:00

Last night I want contacted by my friend Paul, asking if I could do a favor for him. He has several clients because my friend runs his own computer repair business and also does other miscellaneous tasks for them, and one of his clients owns a pizzeria called "Garalino's".

His job is to recreate the menus for the restaurant because it is now also a deli. The only problem was that the logo didn't say "DELI". It was my job was to make it say "PIZZA & DELI", and whether the logo gets accepted or rejected, I still get paid $30 under the table for creating it.

The starting issue was that I didn't have a similar font to match the one of "PIZZA", which means that I had to recreate the font by hand. But, all thanks to my trusty Intuos3, it could easily be done. The only issue after that was creating this symbol --> & <-- I know I'm an artist, and I know I can accomplish in doing that, but I've never drawn that exact symbol before. I've done abstract versions and tried different fonts to test it off of, but they never matched with the overall style of the logo. Simply put: It just wouldn't fit. So, I went to ask Paul if it was okay to try something a little different, and he said that it's fine. So I did the dumbed-down version --> n' <-- This saved me a lot of time.

The last issue was that Paul never received the original artwork, so he had to scan the logo from a product, and I had to work from off of that. That's why the original image is so low in quality. This forced me to touch it up a bit. Even though this final logo will be a 1"x1", blank and white image, I wanted to at least have the lines be more defined. So the final logo turned out to be pretty successful.

$30 heading my way, and hopefully an approval from a very satisfied customer.

School Scheduling

2005-08-22T22:33:00.000-04:00

I was typing up my fall school schedule for my manager so he can create my work schedule based off of it. While looking at the slight details of the schedule, I flipped out.

09/22/2005-12/18/2005
LEC T, R 10:00AM - 12:26PM, LA 405, 12 Wks

I read the starting date as 08/22/2005, which means class would have started today. Forgetting the fact that I am blonde, I realized that it starts on September 22, not August 22. What a relief. So now on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I don't have to wake up until around 11:30am for three whole weeks.

Sometimes it's a good thing to read directions before you start doing the activity.

Work Rocks (II)

2005-08-21T00:30:00.000-04:00

Workers from a Catholic group called Ann Arbor's Assembly of God (A3oG) came in today to buy several packs of packaging tape to put up signs all over the city. When they finally stopped preaching to me about my own religion, they handed over $40... In $2 bills. I thought it was amazing because just the other day I asked my supervisor if anyone ever pays anything here in $2 bills. I find it funny because the only real $2 bill I've seen is the one that my parents have kept for years. Ever since I was a child I always thought it was play money.

I ran into a friend of a friend at work tonight. I never met her before, but I've seen pictures of the both of them together from online. Mind you, I haven't seen or talked to my friend in around two years. This currently makes me feel dark, creepy, and perverted after the fact that I have just realized how much of a stalker I am. But, she was very nice and cool to talk to. I would have handed her my business card, but I remembered that I left my wallet in my locker back in the break room.

I also officially became accepted within the work's social group just by simply saying one word.

..."Bitches."

Work Rocks

2005-08-20T13:24:00.000-04:00

At my work, someone from the staff absolutely hates Phil Collins and actually has a theory about how he's taken over every radio station no matter what genre it plays. So now the manager and another worker (I also might be included in this, but not too sure) are plotting an evil plan to load up about 2GB worth of Phil Collins songs onto our iPods and transmit them over to the store radio to play nothing but Phil Collins songs all day.

Since work was really slow last night, I taught one of the workers how to do the moon walk.

I also had a couple of customers who came to the store on a mission from their mother, who's the principal of some middle school, who had to pay $168.48... IN CHANGE! I had to call for backup because I was the only one working at the registers. Surprisingly, this made my night. When we finally got everything situated and on their way, I actually shook their hands for making my night.

I'm so glad I have this job.

Peter Jennings Tribute

2005-08-08T19:10:00.000-04:00

Peter Jennings
1938 - 2005

I never watch TV much, especially when it comes to reality shows such as the news. Knowing information about death and destruction all over the world doesn't make life amusing for me. But, when ABC News "World News Tonight" is turned on during dinner time, I didn't mind watching it as much all because of Peter Jennings. I've always had a soft spot for him. I wasn't sure if it was his voice, or it was because he's the only news anchor I've known of ever since the day I was born, but he was the first person to let me know about major events around the world such as 9-11, the Columbine shootings, presidential elections, discoveries about today's medicine, and the latest developments on technology.

While reading up on an article of him, I've decided to read up on some of the posts on the website's message boards. I tried my best to find the link five minutes later, but dozens of people are posting a new topic each and every waking minute to post a thoughtful saying directed towards Peter Jennings, so it was impossible for me to find. As much as I would like to remember the author and remember the exact phrasing the person said, I can't.

"We can launch shuttles into space and we can start a war, but we cannot find a cure for cancer."

Reading this sentence boggled my mind because of how true it is. We can explorer new areas and we can try to create peace in the world through violence, but we cannot create a medicine that will save millions and millions of lives in the present and the future that live all around the world. I love technology, I really do, but I've lost many people through cancer that have impacted many lives, including mine. Why can't technology developments be put on hold and focus more on medicines to help people all around the world that need it instead of what a political advisor thinks what the nation needs?

But, even today, finding a cure for cancer won't bring Peter Jennings back to life. He was a great reporter and a great man in general. He will be missed.

Two Excruciating Minutes

2005-08-05T16:14:00.000-04:00

It all started in the bedroom. Eye-catching, isn't it? Well, my girlfriend and I were just chilling and talking like we normally do. I hear a noise outside, so I looked out the window. A white Ford F-150 pulls up in the driveway with a large amount of equipment in the back of it. I figured it was just lawn service, so I shrugged it off and continue talking.

A minute or so has passed without hearing any motor running or clutter moving around. I didn't even hear him pull out of the driveway. What was going on? I looked out the window once more and saw the man painting a post white that he stuck in the middle of the lawn. Many ideas ran through my head as to why it would be there. Was it a flower pot hanger? But, my parents could have done that themselves and I know for a fact that they wouldn't paint it white. Then it hit me. As I stood there, shocked and scared, I motion my girlfriend to come over and see this. She stood right beside me and stared at the post. "Is he suppose to be painting that?" she asked. I didn't know. The next thing we knew, the man went behind the trunk to pull out a sign with "REMERICA" written across it. My girlfriend spoke up again, "...Are you moving?". I shook my head in denial as I still stared at that post.

This couldn't be happening. We couldn't be moving. There has been a point where my family and I have been very close into doing so because of financial troubles caused by 9-11, but that was in the past, and we weren't having many in the present... At least that I knew of.

As we continued staring at the post in shock, my girlfriend became agitated. "Excuse me," and she bolted out the door. I followed her until I got to the top of the stairs. I couldn't bare it. I didn't want to believe in what was going on.

Did my parents finally decide to sell the house since I got a job and now I can support myself? But, what about college? How would that be paid for if I have to slay away at work to pay off rent and not save up for tuition? Would my parents have told me about this? I know at every waking moment my parents warned me about having to move a couple years back, I broke down into tears and wanted to commit suicide. This is the only house I remember living in, and I know I will have to move out eventually, but I want to move out on my own. I actually have reasons to continue living in this house, and now it's about to be taken away from me? Why haven't my parents started charging my brother and I for rent? I'm sure they would still tell me if we were moving anyways... Right?

I sat there waiting, holding back the tears. It seemed to be forever, but was really two minutes. I tried my best to calm myself down. I tried my best to convince myself how everything was unbelievable.

My girlfriend starts walking onto the front porch and through the door. She stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me. I looked back at her, waiting for the results. She cracked a smile. "Wrong house."

"Excuse me, is that suppose to be there?"
"Wait, you're not moving?"
My girlfriend shakes her head, "No."
"The man paused, Excuse me one moment." He pulled out his cell phone and dials his manager. A minute later, a sheepish grin grows on his face. "Oh... It's ###9, not ###3. Next door... Sorry."

I collapsed on the floor in relief, and the rest was then history.

So What Happened?

2005-08-04T02:05:00.000-04:00

With my last official update about my life, besides the anniversary announcement, you were left hanging with the remaining scars of a caffeine overdose before a job interview.

"So what happened to the job interview?"

The morning wasn't pleasant. As I got up to get ready for the day, my stomach was the ball and chain. At this point, the only thing that made my stomach suffer was the nervousness, even though I'm still convinced that the organ I speak of has some sort of medical problem. But, it was my first job interview, how could I not be nervous?

Driving to the job interview was a new light for me, sadly. I've always had the insecurity of driving to places I don't know very well or at all if anything because there are two fears I face while driving: 1) High amounts of traffic and 2) getting lost. Getting lost has only happened once, which shall never be repeated again, and traffic doesn't help the situation. But, I told myself to deal with it and drive. On the way to the job interview my stomach felt much better than when leaving the house.

I arrived there twenty minutes earlier than expected, so I practiced the two main questions (Well, almost questions) I was given to by friends that are always asked during interviews, and the correct responses I should say in return:

"So tell me about yourself."

From what I've been told, you first start off with what you're currently doing. As for myself, I'm starting college in the fall. So that means I would tell the employer about how I will be starting college, where at, what I plan on doing afterwards, then move backwards from there, leading to the beginning of high school. I would give the employer information about the clubs I've joined and the positions I was elected in that would give the employer interest that I've made a few useful achievements. For instance: I was secretary for the National Art Honors society my sophomore year in high school over at my first high school, then transferred over to another high school and has currently been elected for secretary at the Gay-Straight Alliance. I would also mention about the field hockey and lacrosse teams I've joined my freshman year, but that information wouldn't be too helpful because I wasn't elected as captain or VIP or any other reward. But, then again, it would show that I have official experience with teamwork and cooperation.

"What do you think makes you right for this position?"

This is where your interests come in, but only say what would work with being in the position you have applied for. As for me, I applied for being a Sales Associate. Sounds fancy, but really it's just being a cashier. Being a cashier means having to deal with costumers. Here I would mention about my love for society. I enjoy meeting new people. I enjoy socializing in general. People normally come up to me for advice whether it ranges from boy problems to figuring out what technological products to purchase, and I help them out any way I can without going over any limits. When it comes to buying products, I make sure I do my research and see if those products fit the qualities that I'm looking for. For instance: A computer chair.

"Do I want leather?"
"Do I want mesh?"
"Do I want a manager's chair?"
"Do I want it to recline?"
"Does it fit my price range?"
"What do the reviews say?"
etc.

For this position, I need to make sure my interests involve two things: 1) The people and 2) the products. No employer could resist those two things, which means they wouldn't be able to resist me.

When the time came, I got out of the car and walked inside of the building. I was instantly greeted by employers. I wasn't sure if it was their job or if it was to create personal company, but it felt warm being greeted. Maybe it was because I really wanted the attention that day... Who knows.

When I got in there, I was waiting by the doors to the back offices when someone called out to me. I turned around. It was a woman around my age, most likely older, straight auburn hair in a pony tail. Very nice glasses too. "What are you here for?" I smiled knowing that she wanted to engage in a conversation with me. It's always nice meeting new people.
"Job interview."
"Oh really? I'm the newest employee here. 'Been working here for two months now."
"Awesome." That was nice to know. But, I didn't know her name yet and everything around me was a blur, including her nametag. I stuck out my hand and smiled.
"I'm Erin."
She smiled and shook my hand in return. "Ruth. So who are you here to see?"
The assistant manager walks by us as she passed the question. I stuttered and turned around, "Uhh..." I pointed. "Him". He seemed busy so I didn't want to interrupt what he was doing, and so the conversation continued.
"He's alright. You'll like him."
That was good to know, even though the assistant manager and I had a conversation for two minutes on the phone a couple days before then, but that's not enough to read him.

You could tell that Ruth had confidence in me getting this job. It was probably because of the fact that she started telling me about the company's uniform code. A couple minutes later, I decide to get the interview started.

When I walked off to go see the assistant manager, Ruth yelled from behind, "Good luck!" That made me smile. It took a couple minutes in waiting, but I finally got to meet my employer face to face, greeted with a hardy hand shake. "Let's sit down, shall we?" We start walking towards the office area and sat down in one of the offices on display. Nice.
"So, Erin... Tell me about yourself."
This job interview was going to go better than I have expected.

While discussing with the manager, I've noticed that he has a major stutter. That's okay. Since the both of us knew that it was my very first job interview, he did most of the talking. He explained what would be going on, what communication devices the store uses, the description of the job position, etc. All throughout the interview he gave me major clues that I'm already hired.
"You will be doing this, well... If you get the job, of course."
"...And you will feel the same accomplishment if you've gotten this job?"
"You will be considered the last line of defense, if you get hired."
It's pretty blunt, but it made me feel really good. I didn't want to get my hopes up, though, just incase.
"The reason why we are hiring inexperienced people is because we want to take them, train them, and mold them into our little OfficeMax clones," as he made slightly angry gestures as if he's taking playdo and molding it into a ball. But hey, it seemed logical to me!

So the results? I obviously got the job. To celebrate, I drove over to Border's and bought myself Sounds From The Thievery Hi-Fi by Thievery Corporation (An amazing DJing group that I discovered through a CD delivered free to my father through WIRED Magazine.) with a gift card my grandmother gave me as a Christmas present a couple years back. This will probably be the last piece of music I will ever physically purchase for the rest of my life since I and the rest of the world owns an iPod.

I was completely wrong about how horrible the location of the OfficeMax is for me. I absolutely love it, especially the stripmall area it's in. There's a Michael's, a Potbelly, an Old Navy, a Border's, a Marshalls, etc. The only thing that the stripmall is missing is a bank. I would be set for life. At least it would prevent me from spending money. But, when I walked into Border's, the first thing I saw walking about was an African-American and Caucasian lesbian couple, younger than me, holding hands, walking out. Amazing. It then made me notice how many rainbows were around the place. I keep forgetting how liberal and cultured that city is.

A week goes by, and I receive mail from work:

We are pleased to extend you a contingent offer of employment to join us as Selling Associate. You will be a part-time associate, and your Start date will be on 8/5/05.

To confirm the details of your offer, you will be paid at an hourly rate of $7.25...

Wow. To me, that's a lot of money for this being my first job, and just for a starting salary in general. My friend told me that starting salary is $7.00, average, but I've had friends tell me they've started at $6.30 or $6.80 or anything pretty much below $7.00, and I'm even earning more than what my friends are getting in the first place. I wasn't sure if the amount of money is this high was because that's what the company normally pays a starting employee, or it was because of that fact I'll need to take out $30 a week for gas because of driving to school and work. Not to mention I'll be taking out around $40 a month for future cell phone payments, saving up for a car, and saving up for college.

As for working on the given date, it was moved to Monday. My employer also hired another woman around the same time, and he would like to kill two birds with one stone by having the orientation at the same time. Understandable.

I can honestly say that I'm excited about working. Sure, days will become repetitive, customers will be assholes, and my free time will be a thing of the past, but I can now say that I'm back up to society again and no longer the laughing stock. Now I don't believe I will ever get tired of saying, "Get a job!"

Picture Sweetness

2005-07-29T19:18:00.000-04:00

Picture Perfect

2005-07-29T01:24:00.000-04:00

Aren't we adorable?

Eighteen Months

2005-07-28T01:06:00.000-04:00

Haven't you ever met a person where it seems like you've known them for years, until you realize how long it really has been? Yeah, I go through that a lot.

Happy 1 1/2 years, baby. :)

Stupidity's Overdose

2005-07-25T03:31:00.000-04:00

On Saturday night, I made the decision to pull my first all-nighter not just because I've never done it before, but to also get my sleeping schedule back in order. The problem is, no one warned me to do it without using caffeine. Most of the people that know me knows that I need nine hours of sleep per day in order to function. I didn't realize how badly my mind doesn't function with the lack of sleep. What people don't know is that I never consume anything for the caffeine portion, but for the flavor. I just happened to consume a lot of things that have caffeine in it. It's something that my mind doesn't realize, and pretty much cares about. But, with poor measurements and lack of food within a long time span, it caused me to have a caffeine overdose.

One of the main symptoms of caffeine, besides not being able to sleep as easily, is nervousness. With the job interview coming up the next day and my father recently having the last of the surgery on his heart, it was a one way trip to having a panic attack. A huge problem about myself is that I can easily overreact to the point where I can convince myself that the world is ending. Well, I kept focusing on my heart to see if there weren't any abnormal beating patterns. The beating was normal, but my heart felt heavy. My stomach then felt as if I needed to vomit. This wasn't good at all, and to make it even worse, no one was home to watch me.

I started to panic, but I knew better to keep myself calm because I didn't want to end up in the hospital like my girlfriend when she had an attack. I called her to tell her what was going on. She told me I would be fine and if I slept, it would all go away. It did seem logical because I've slept to get rid of many things both emotionally and physically. So, I tried my best to sleep. Everytime my body finally decides to shut down, I get scared and wake myself up a second later. It was no use. I needed someone with me. So, I called my friend Carlton.

He was home, and he didn't have to work. He's the only person I know that can feel what a person is going through all by touching them. But, he took good care of me. If it wasn't for him, I would have wound up in the hospital. I still need to pay him for babysitting me.

Of course, what comes up must come down fourteen hours later, and that's the caffeine low. It made me feel as if I have aged by fifty years. My physical capability of doing anything was shot, and my stomach was the worst of it. It wouldn't handle any food or drink or even emotion I threw at it. It hated me, and since it was being mean, I hated it. My mother constantly shoved pepto bismol tablets down my throat, thinking that it would cure the problem. The only problem it cures is feeding me something that is tasty. But, other than that, it will cause discoloration on my tongue, and among other things. As for the physical aspect of my body, I could hardly walk. I was easily out of breath so my walking speed was three times as slow, and my heart would beat faster than normal.

When I was finally able to fall to sleep, when I woke up, I felt fine. A second later my stomach would go back to it's previous condition. This time I believe it was the nervousness about the job interview because it gotten better later throughout the day.

But, to sum everything together, I am not pulling that stunt ever again. That was pure torture, and I didn't enjoy every second of it.

Guinness-Worthy

2005-07-23T17:18:00.000-04:00

If someone told you that their toe has a cut, how would you react? That's normal, right? Well, what if that person told you that the cut was created by an ice cube? That's certainly not normal.

It all start by making some iced tea because having hot tea in the middle of the day, in the middle of the summer, in the middle of the year is absurd. To start off the holy procedures of creating this iced tea of the gods, the water is warmed up by using a coffee maker. So when it comes to pouring the water into the container where the iced tea will be made, it will be hot. What do you add to a liquid that is too hot? Ice! While pouring ice cubes into the container to drop down the temperature of the water to a not-so-steamy level, one of the ice cubes decided to break away from the dish and escape from the wrath of the hot water. Where does it land? On my toe. It really hurt. But, after a few cursings and jumps on my non-handicapped foot, the process of creating the iced tea continued.

Later on in the day, while being a hermit on the computer and playing a challenging (And by challenging, I mean "DOMINATING") game of Yahoo! Pool, I kick back and let my foot rest flat on my closet door. "What's this? It looks like a smudge mark! Maybe it's chocolate?" Taking a closer look, I realized it's a scab. It seems to be a pretty gushed scab, too. But, how did this happen? I tried to flash back about what happened at the Bean last night while wearing my sandals. I don't remember anything that hit my toe. Then, it hit me: It was the ice cube that landed on my foot a couple hours ago!

An ice cube cut my middle toe on my right foot. When does that ever happen? Has this ever happened to anyone? You never hear about this. I belong in the damn book of world records! I deserve a prize for my clumsiness. If I don't get a Guinness award, a Darwin award will work, too.

Scheduled Interview

2005-07-23T02:25:00.000-04:00

24 hours later, I gain the courage to call the sales manager of OfficeMax that wishes to schedule an interview. He's a very nice guy, very easy to talk to, and very flexible. The both of us agreed that it would be a bitch to schedule it during the weekend because of the art fair, and during lunchtime or rush hour. So, it's on Monday at 3:00 in the afternoon. I'm glad because I don't wake up until 1:00 normally. It will give me enough time to take a shower, gain my energy for the day, and leave.

I actually have confidence in getting this job. I have a hard time talking to adults because I've always had a feeling of inferiority when speaking to one, including my family members, which will cause me to be shy. But he has this attitude and aura where it's pretty much a welcoming experience. I can speak to him like I can speak to a normal human being of my age. I still find it amazing that someone wants me, and inexperienced 18-year-old for a job.

I just hope I get this job. I need one. Wish me luck!

Job Interview

2005-07-21T20:57:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week I turned in my applications to three stores: OfficeMax, Michael's, and Famous Footwear. That was Monday. While checking my e-mail today, I received this:

From: Store 0631 [store0631@officemax.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 21, 2005 5:49 PM
To: esullivan@wowway.com
Subject: Job Interview

Erin,

Upon reviewing your application that you submitted to OfficeMax in Canton July 18, 2005, I would like to schedule an interview at your convenience. Please call me at the store to set up a time and a date.

Thank you,

[PERSONAL INFORMATION OF SENDER DELETED]

Break open the bottle of champegne and throw me a cigar! I actually made an accomplishment in my life! But, quickly after, that big smile turned upside down when I decided to read the personal information of the sender. I'm wanting to be interviewed for a position over at an OfficeMax in Ann Arbor. At this point, and still going on, I wish to drill my head into my desk for sheer... How should I say it? Ah, ROTTEN LUCK!

I am the laughing stock of my entire family because I'm a high school graduate who has never had a job, and still doesn't. Day in and day out I am constantly made fun of for my lazy ass, lack of motivation, and pretty much lack of anything and everything. I finally thought I could actually make my family proud of me for once, and now I'm screwed over.

"So what is exactly the reason for not being happy about wanting to be interviewed?" - Two words: Driving arrangements. There are three cars: My mom's, my dad's, and my brother's. They all work. Inside of my application, for time availibility I have put down any time of the day, any day of the week, work for forty hours a week. My father works in Ann Arbor two times a month, and Flint for the rest. My brother rarely works, but he's always out with his friends or playing Army in Lansing or whatever state the government sends him to, and my mom is the only normal working employee that works from nine 'til five. If I'm in Ann Arbor, my father is in Flint, and my brother is saving the world before bedtime, who is going to pick up my mother?

I just called my father to tell him about the mediochre news, and he's proud of me. He's all for the interview. But, this is what I was afraid of, he said that he'll be forced to buy another car. It's not because of my issue, but him and my mother are going to wind up paying thousands for being over the mileage on both of their leased cars. So, I guess I'll be getting my own car while I'm at it.

It's just... this entire situation with driving arrangement issues, being forced to buy another car, and I'm pretty sure my mother will find a reason why having this job will be bad for financial/economic/religious/emotional/mental/physical/spiritual reasons will all be caused by me. I guess, truth is, I'm not ready for having this responsibility. But, beggers can't be choosers. I really don't feel like applying to anymore places. Of course I'll have to if I don't get the job. But, at least I can say that I've made an effort into getting one. Hopefully I won't be the laughing stock no longer.

Check It Out

2005-07-20T23:25:00.000-04:00

Fooling around with Photoshop can create neat results.

Contacts Update

2005-07-20T03:34:00.000-04:00

I've decided to start using Yahoo! Messanger and MSN Messanger again. But, I've stopped using the old accounts and created new ones.

Y!M: sketch_me_eriney
MSN: Fuzzb0x@hotmail.com

So if you have any of those instant messaging programs, feel free to send me a message!

duncecap.gif

2005-07-20T00:58:00.000-04:00

To begin this post, I shall post the conversation that started the famous "duncecap.gif".

O C T O R O: I need a big sign on the internet that says "I'm not livejournal. read the fucking FAQ"
Broadzilla XVII:haha
Broadzilla XVII: how big?
O C T O R O: GIGANTIC
Broadzilla XVII: would you like me to make it for you? :D
O C T O R O: where would I put it?
Broadzilla XVII: hmm...
O C T O R O: if everyone who asked me about it were on MSN I'd change my name tag on there
O C T O R O: but no, they're all stupid americans
Broadzilla XVII: well, if we can get a shit load of our LiveJournal friends to post it all in one day
Broadzilla XVII: maybe we can create a gigantic tagalong
O C T O R O: I'll just post it in my LJ and send someone a link to it when they ask me a question
Broadzilla XVII: haha
Broadzilla XVII: but, really, how big?
Broadzilla XVII: 2000x2000?
O C T O R O: ummmm
O C T O R O: no
Broadzilla XVII: haha
O C T O R O: maybe 200x 100 or so?
Broadzilla XVII: that's small
Broadzilla XVII: well, medium-sized
O C T O R O: 400 x 200
Broadzilla XVII: 600x400?
O C T O R O: sure
Broadzilla XVII: ok
Broadzilla XVII: so what's your reason for "I'm not livejournal"?
O C T O R O: FeelGoodDragx: I need to delete them all, but theres like 2342 of them.
O C T O R O: ok
FeelGoodDragx: My parents have gone crazy
O C T O R O: look on the site
FeelGoodDragx: and are delteing AIM, MSN, want to take a look at my LJ
FeelGoodDragx: etc
FeelGoodDragx: I am
FeelGoodDragx: How do I delete my account?
O C T O R O: Iunno
O C T O R O: look in the FAQ
O C T O R O: this is only one instance
O C T O R O: there have been WAY too many others
Broadzilla XVII: ah
O C T O R O: my right index finger nail is forming itself into a point
Broadzilla XVII: yay?
O C T O R O: sure
Broadzilla XVII wants to directly connect.
O C T O R O is now directly connected.
Broadzilla XVII: [IMAGE]
O C T O R O: that's awesome
Broadzilla XVII: thank you :D
Broadzilla XVII: did you see the name I saved it to?
Broadzilla XVII: as, rather
O C T O R O: yea
Broadzilla XVII: bwahaha
O C T O R O: FeelGoodDragx: I guess that sign is made for lazyass people like me who just ask smart people for lj information.
Broadzilla XVII: YES!!!!!
Broadzilla XVII: I have succeeded
O C T O R O: yes!
Broadzilla XVII: oh that just made my day

Thank you to my quick Photoshop skills and my friend Cory's intelligence, together we have created the beast of what I would like to call a dunce cap. This was created for the use of those who thrive in computer skills (Such as Cory and I, except I only know how to get my way around a computer as he knows how to get through with ease), but are constantly asked questions by lazyass people, such as Cory's friend has kindly explained it for us, about help in LiveJournal. Just because we have the knowledge of how to deal with computers doesn't mean we have the knowledge of what websites that we can really care less about.

So for those who wish to be blunt and disrespectful for those people who suffer just like Cory and I, you can save yourself time and put this image to good use.

<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/support/faq.bml">
<img src="http://octoro.kicks-ass.net/images/duncecap.gif" /></a>

SIDE NOTE: The words "Dunce Cap" was looked up on Google, and it brought up a website from Yahoo! about where the cap originated, so I shall post it for your curiosity. It's quite interesting.

Thursday December 14, 2000

Dear Yahoo!:
How did the dunce cap originate?

Marc
Buien, Washington

Dear Marc:

We found the answer to your question on an excellent Q&A site called The Straight Dope. As it turns out, the dunce cap comes from a 13th-century philosopher named John Duns Scotus, who, not surpisingly, was born in Duns, Scotland.

This well-respected but terribly oblique scholar felt that conical hats actually increased learning potential. Here's the theory -- knowledge is centralized at the apex and then funneled down into the mind of the wearer.

Scotus was an inveterate hair-splitter and came up with terms like "haecceitas," or "thisness." He was widely praised in his day, but eventually fell out of intellectual favor. His "duns cap" was a pretty obvious target of derision and came to symbolize stupidity.

So the logic behind the dunce cap is that it makes slow pupils learn better, but it was later used to humiliate the wearer and motivate students to try harder.

MySpace Addiction

2005-07-19T17:10:00.000-04:00

Friday was the starting of a new movement for my social life. Suddenly this urge to go out and meet new people took over me. As shy as I am, this made me actually want to socialize instead of sitting in corner and be ignored as I normally do. This even made me want to be with the groups of preps and jocks that hung out at the parking lot right next to the Indian River Commerce, and these were the kids I used to laugh at! Then again, my father used to be one of those kids back in his days. But, look at him now! I still laugh at him!

I want to believe that this is the reason for subscribing to many blog sharing websites, but this need of social activity impacted me a couple days after. Blog sharing wouldn't do much for meeting people outside of the computerized world, so that's why I've resurrected my semi-old MySpace account. Well, it's not old at all. The reason why it was created was so my friend could show me pictures of herself and the people she has come in contact with through MySpace. Last night I made a decision that I would start caring about it, add current friends and old friends that I haven't seen or spoken to in over two years, and hopefully find interesting people in the area. Becoming a MySpace addict is turning me into a hypocrite, but I've been one since the day I was born.

One of the things I'm looking forward to this week is the Ann Arbor Art Fair. I was having a chat with my friend Amy, and the both of us came to a conclusion that the best friends we've ever made were born and raised in Ann Arbor. It's just an absolutely amazing city, and the people in it are amazing. They're intelligent, cultured, and very liberal. As my father likes to call the city, "The People's Republic of Ann Arbor", which is true. Half of the people you meet there are visitors/temporary college students/business workers. But, I hope I get to go there this week. I would drive myself, but the traffic would be horrendous, and I don't have the money to pay for parking. I'm not too sure if I would be able to go because it starts tomorrow and my mother and father are leaving to go Up North for my father's second procedure in surgery the next day, and won't be coming back until Sunday night. The debate still is still going on whether my presence will be greatly needed or not.

To get back on track here, if you have a MySpace account and are looking for a friend, add me!

Animated Advertising

2005-07-19T03:47:00.000-04:00

Remember when I promised animated advertisement banners for my website? Well, since I've received the education version of Adobe Photoshop CS2, I can now create animations (And do a heck of a lot more, as a matter of fact). For your information, they are located at the sidebar. Incase if you're too lazy to look at them there, I shall post them here:

88x31

80x15

As you see above, it's not just animations. I've created two sets of banners, formatted on two sizes: 80x15 and 88x31. Both sizes have their own individual design, all designed to match with the website, and are animated to impress. For those who don't wish to be too flashy, there is the still version of the banners.

I really do enjoy these banners. It makes me wish I could post art all over the layout. The problem is, the loading time for images is a hassle which will cause internet connects to take forever, especially for those with dial-up connections, or worse, the bitch of all internet connections known to man, America Online.

Doing this artwork is convincing me more and more to create a DeviantArt account. All of my artistic (Or even lack there of) friends have created one, so why haven't I? That will be a future plan of mine, and I shall indeed post my username on here when it happens. As for now, I bid you goodnight, because it's 4:00 in the morning.

Forgetable Pastimes

2005-07-17T01:32:00.000-04:00

It's an embarassment to remember what you left behind for all to see, such as my old Life_Blows account; the account when I first started blogging, the account where I first started out my days of depression, the days that I thought and wish to have forgotton about. Luckily I was intelligent enough to plan ahead in my younger years and delete every written and published post except for one: The notification of relocation of my new account, Eriney, based off of a nickname given by one of my former friends.

As much as I am pleased with Blogger, they're failed to program a button that would simply delete your account, and everything that came along with it. Shame on you, Blogger. You're grounded!

Miserable Moments

2005-07-17T00:31:00.000-04:00

Another blank stare at Notepad; eyes searching and mind wandering in desperation for trying to find a path. Will this be another two hours of writer's block or a useful time of explanations, expressions, and solving? In the direction this collage of words is taking us, only time will tell.

As goosebumps form from an unknown chill, I sit here wishing how last night's feeling of isolation took place in tonight's activity. The scorching heat and high humidity made the adults lousy and the children cranky. The fun and play easily turned into tears with the snap of a finger. The children's negative emotions would bring the parents down from having the job of taking care of their young ones as everyone else becomes annoyed from the unbearable heat and high screams. Tonight was not a night to be occupied with company.

After coming home from an uneventful visit, hearing my girlfriend's voice was the only thing that felt pleasing at the moment. The first phone call wasn't successful, and neither was the second one. After the phone hung up, it instantly rang. As expected, it was her. Wishing that the conversation could last all night because of the lack of communication for the past two days, the phone warned me of a low battery. Damnit. Through her heavy sighs and a faint conversation of complaining in the background told me that she wasn't enjoying her time either. Deep in her voice through the 'I love you's made me know that this was a time where she wished to be with someone where life could take a break and relax with, and that was me. My heart sank as I was forced to reply with 'Ditto' or 'Same here'. With my mother being in the room, there would be no successful way to openly express my homosexual love with tolerance. This only brought my girlfriend down even more, knowing that I couldn't give her the reassurance that she longs for.

As much as I wanted to make her happy, the conversation had to cut short because of the lack of battery power. From hearing annoyed, mumbled conversations in the background, I had to ask my girlfriend one final question: "What's wrong?" With a disappointment in her tone of voice, she said, "Everything is wrong." She gave a sigh and continued, "But, it's nothing... Don't worry about it." At this point, there were two options in this response: a) It was something that couldn't be said in front of the people that my girlfriend was with or b) It was something that took too long to explain. As much as I wanted to get it out of her, the phone wouldn't allow me. Thus, the conversation left me hanging. From someone that says these two words, "Don't" and "Worry", it will make you do the opposite. I wish I knew what was going on, and I wish I could do something to make her smile. But instead, from my own lousy decision, I'm stuck up here without any ability to help the one I love.

Photobucket Blogging Repost

2005-07-15T23:20:00.000-04:00

I'm trying this out again (Hooray for spamming my own blog!). Being the blonde I am, I missed the part where there's a option where you can view the HTML source while posting from Photobucket. I hope this turns out the way I want it to be, which is better than before.

POSTING FROM BLOGGER

A bit better, but not costumer satisfactory quality.

Photobucket Blogging

2005-07-15T18:03:00.000-04:00

I believe I have finally figured out Photobucket's ways of blogging.

But, I'm convinced that <a

href="http://www.blogger.com/">Blogger</a> Images beats <a

href="http://www.photobucket.com/">Photobucket's</a> blogging.

The default HTML for Blogger is more stable, and more efficient. So, in

conclusion, I'm sticking with Blogger when it comes to posting images.

POSTING FROM BLOGGER

See? I told you Blogger is better!

Blogger Images

2005-07-15T16:15:00.000-04:00

This is a test post for Blogger Images. As long as I have been using Photobucket for image hosting, I'm still trying to figure them out. That's poor quality. I believe I'll be using them just for hosting my banners and other website graphics.

Incase if you are wondering, the picture is of my girlfriend's former pet feeder mouse, Peanut. The story behind the inch-long mouse is the he was orginally dropped into her friend's sister's snake cage. Apparently the snake has decided to go vegetarian for four months, so since the mouse wasn't eaten, Birdy claimed it and named it "Peanut" because of it's symetrical body, where the head was just as big as the torso (Just like a peanut!). He was so adorable, but only lasted a week. Poor, poor Peanut.

Photobucket

2005-07-15T15:07:00.000-04:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

7/10 Journal Entry: "R&R"

2005-07-14T00:39:00.000-04:00

"I'm currently writing this entry in my journal as I sit out on the boat with my legs dangling over the edge, and my feet bathing in the waves. It know I've been complaining in my LiveJournal for the past week about how I wish I wasn't up here, but rather at home and with my girlfriend. I was blessed with the chance of seeing her this week due to the recent emergency, with the help of our friend Carlton taking time off of work to drive her up here, but, it's just times like this where you know that everything will be okay, possibly even better. Maybe it's because of hearing my brother shriek like a school girl when he gets in the water. Maybe it's because of the music playing on my iPod. Maybe it's because of the cloudless skies, shimmering waters, and faded lands near the horizon. I really don't know, but because of right now, I really don't want to leave this place.

"When I come home, I'll just be bored again. At least I had an adventure up here. It wasn't fun, but it was something. But, work has to be done and time cannot be changed. Maybe I'm enjoying this time because I feel relaxed, not caring about much, not even my little cousins splashing to create some sort of annoyance. It's been a few hard days full of stress, and this is my time to forget about what could happen and enjoy what I have."

The Blogosphere

2005-07-13T23:03:00.000-04:00

Today I've signed up this website to many blog share websites.

- Blogarama
- Blog Catalog
- Blogs by Women
- Blog Rankings
- Blogwise

The biggest question I'm asking myself is, "Why? What is my motivation?" Being stalked by random people is usually not my cup of tea, but is it because I wish to be known? Do I want to be accepted? This blog contains nothing useful, so why do I want it to be shared? Do I want to be recognized? By who? What sort of crowd do I want to attract?

I never, and if anything, rarely talk about politics or religion or the news in general. It's always about my life, random thoughts, or some sort of technological advancement that is my current obsession of the time that I obviously take a lot of interest in. There is no stronghold as to what this blog is about. Yet, after all of this questioning, I still post in here anyways. The only thing professional about this blog is the layout. The overall writing style, the poorly educated use of grammar and vocabulary, and +90% of the entries, are not. If I compared this post to your everyday LiveJournal entry, it obviously has more intelligence. But, if I compare this post to a real blog, particularly one of my favorite reads, hyalineskies 5, forget it.

I've always enjoyed having a blog. It allows people to update on my life and makes me occupied without having to tell a dozen of individuals everyday. Most importantly, it's something to claim as my own without having anyone take away my rights of the first amendment (Limiting my entries to what I consider moral and publicly decent, of course).

My blogging mentality has matured quite a bit from when I first started out, but my blogging in general has not developed from it. Why is that? I believe the reason why I crave for some sort of growth is because I envy blogging elitists. I'm jealous of them. I want to be like them. Am I being myself as I try? Self-expression is very important and I believe that can be accomplished without throwing the letter "I" around. Maybe it's because my lack of debating skills. It's rare for me to create a post that is convincing or arguable enough.

A lot of today's blogs are personal. They mainly have been. But, if this blog contains mostly personal entries, then why is it public? I obviously want to get something out of it, and I'm obviously not getting it because I obviously don't know what it is. If I never want to get into other people's personal lives, then why do I read about them? There has to be a reason behind all of this. It is a universal connection between all human beings, but being shielded by man-made machines? Are we afraid of actual contact, flesh-and-blood connections? I never did enjoy getting everyone's present attention, but I've always wanted to let people know that I exist, that I am there.

I guess the truth behind my blogging is that I'm scared to be known in the real world, but wanting to become famous in the cybernetic world. I'm constantly hiding behind this machine, getting my name out to whoever I think and hope would be interested, waiting for an explosion of life to come at me. It's hard for me to talk about myself or what I think face-to-face with other people or even just getting my name out.

In conclusion, I guess, is that this blog is basically my safety blanket.

Imperfection v2.0

2005-07-13T16:30:00.000-04:00

A new beginning in my life, a new layout to help express it. The previous layout did last for almost a year, but as it aged, it lost its luster. For some reason the HTML coding script started to become unstable, and I do not know how that happened. I knew the HTML was unstable in the first place, when I made a comparison to Mozilla Firefox. As wonderful as the browser is when comparing to Microsoft's default Internet Explorer, the only major problem I've had with Firefox is its failure to detect certain HTML coding. Being a web designer (Well, it's not exactly my prefession, which I would like to do as a side job one day), I've tried to stay away from Firefox as long as I could. Later on, my stubborness made me realize how for behind I am in technology, so I finally made the switch. Since Firefox is now my default browser, it challenged my skills in web designing and make me work so it's compatible with both Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox.

As for the theme of this layout, I dedicate it to Downtown Detroit. After the experience I had in going there during Memorial Weekend for the Detroit Electronic Music Festival (Also known as Fuse-In), I've realized that it's still a great city. It is run down, and the media has given it a bad name, but no one realizes that the city still has life, and a lot of it. There is a photo I took, which the top and bottom banners are created from, and I believe that I was able to capture a shot of the good side of Downtown Detroit.

If you haven't noticed already, I've gotten rid of the webcam images. They were very fun for a while, I will admit that. But, they just don't work for me anymore. For your sake, I have posted two more fore you:

As for the sidebar, it's still there, but has a music equializer look to it. That portion of the website is dedicated to DEMF itself. I'm pretty sure advertisement icons will be going there very soon. The original sidebar was transformed into a sidebar. Because of how lengthy the Journals section was getting, I removed it. Since the sidebar is no longer a great length of the website, I do not feel as obligated as to writing long posts. They will still come, but I feel more comfortable with writing shorter posts. So this will help me update more often instead of turning to my LiveJournal.

This layout is probably my proudest work, yet. Each and everytime I'm working on a new layout, I'm learning more and more about coding and what I can do with it. This blog is my playtoy. I get to do whatever I want with it, whenever. I thought of this before, and I've realized that I cannot keep going the way things are. I need something new. I believe that's why I've enjoyed going to Canton High School so much. It was not only a huge change, but it was also for a short period of time. I was then done with that and now I'm ready for two years of community college, then transferring to another college for two years. It's exciting. But, before I ramble off even more, I shall end my post here.

Actually, not officially, because I would like to know what you viewers think!

Heart Attack Update

2005-07-06T02:37:00.000-04:00

My father is okay, as expected. It turns out that my father has three clogs. No one has specified to me whether they are all in one atterie, or in several. As I examine the photographs of my father's heart to help answer my question, I've come to a conclusion that it's hard to read. On the photograph sheet, there are six sections. There are two columns going down, categorized into "BEFORE INTERVENTION" and "AFTER INTERVENTION". I have figured that the each row specifies a section of a vein or part of a vein, but the vein looks like it has gone through plastic surgery because there is such a huge difference compared to the "BEFORE INTERVENTION" photographs. The operators must have done that good of a job. The before photos contain pictures of a vein bunched up and jagged as the after photos are smooth and linear. I still cannot figure out whether the photographs contain one vein or not.

I get to see him tomorrow, which is a plus. I don't care if I miss tomorrow's trip to Mackinac Island or to Mackinac City to try out the new waterpark and have a scoop of blue moon ice cream on a waffle cone from Kilwin's, I just want to see my father. I am a daddy's girl. Just last night (More likely on Monday, now looking at the time) we were having a conversation about what is great music, and the world technology while sharing over this with a glass of wine after having a nice Italian dinner. It's amazing how sudden a heart attack can be. With medical problems, you can normally see a slow development of the problem, but not for heart attacks.

This is sadistic, but what helped me relieve all of the stress was not only having the chance to talk to my girlfriend on my brother's cell phone, but discovering that my uncle shot himself in the hand with a nail gun, and was sent straight to the same hospital my father was at (At least at the time, he has been transported over to another hospital now). I found much humor in that, including my brother and my cousin. The reason being is that my father has shot himself in the hand with a nail gun, not once, but twice, and was sent in the hospital the second time it happened. But, all of these emergency trips boggles my mind. All of these accidents happen Up North, too. First there's my father's hand, then my grandfather got bit by a dog which swelled up and got infected, then on Saturday my aunt sprained her ankle, then my father gets a heart attack, and now my uncle shot himself in the hand just like my father did. I want to believe it's a curse, but it's more logical to blaim the person's clumsiness, except for my father's attack. Now it makes me wonder about what will happen next.

As I slowly lose my motor skills of typing after having a drink of VO Canadian whiskey in the name of my uncle, I shall end my post here. Also, for those of you that have prayed/wish for my father to have a safe recovery, I thank you with all of my heart. God bless.

Heart Attack Report

2005-07-05T15:00:00.000-04:00

While I'm writing this, my father is on his way to the hospital because he was complaining of a sudden muscle cramp in his chest. [Edit]On his way there with my mother, his arm became numb[/Edit]. Everyone knows what this means.

So please, if it isn't much, please pray for him. I'm pretty sure he'll be okay because it didn't seem too serious, but he knew that this problem shouldn't be waited on, especially because of the fact that he has never felt something like this before. I did notice that his skin suddenly became more pale than your typical Irishman.

But, everytime I hear the phone ring my heart drops and my body shakes even more. I shouldn't be like this. I don't want to be like this. I can't talk to my girlfriend or anyone else on the phone to help comfort me because we need the phone line available, and I cannot be online because it's a dial-up connection. Yes, I know I needed the internet to make this post, but this has been written on Notepad so I can copy and paste instantly once I am connected.

I want to cry. I really do. I want my girlfriend, I want my lost Gir doll, I want to drown my mind into video games to forget the world around me, I want to go home. Instead I sit here, waiting by the phone on the charger because it needs recharging, praying to God and hoping that my iPod will give me some sort of comfort and help waste time.

I have much confidence that he will be alright, but for years I have been waiting for this day to come. I knew something would happen to him right after I would graduate, too. That's why this is freaking me out. I have always told him to go on a diet and start eating healthier. I even tried to have him cut down on beer. Oh no, please don't let me cry now. I don't want to be an asshole, but I hope this is a wakeup call for my father.

I can tell this is going to be a very long day...

Employment Relations Development

2005-07-02T03:53:00.000-04:00

As DJ Tiesto's "As the Rush Comes" play on my iPod, my left wrist cracking every two minutes from slow development of carpal tunnel, a sip of Amaretto running down my esophagus, and pine wood paneling surrounding every angle of my body, I sit here in my cottage in front of the glow of my father's laptop pondering about what will come next for me, what will happen to me within the next 365 days, or just even the next week ahead of me. A part of it would be getting a glass of water from the refrigerator, but the filtering machine will not work for the fridge. That situation is really not of any importance. But, one of the things I have been thinking about is employment. After 18 years of living, the last four years of my family having financial trouble, and college coming up ahead, I still have not gotten a job. It is not because of the economy, it's because of my own lack of motivation. Each and everyday I think about the applications sitting inside of my desk, collecting dust. But, what if I do get a job? Will I become a workaholic? Will I dread each and everyday of helping out a costumer? What if it's actually fun?

One of the problems is that every adult that knows of my existence has lost faith in me getting a job to the point where they have started to push and encourage my 20-year-old brother to get a second job that is better job than flipping burgers, also with a better pay and more hours. Even though I would never be able to imagine myself working in a fast food restaurant, I envy my brother. He has something that I want. Yes, want. I dread the repetitive days of summer, and I long to make a difference in my life. I want to move forward. Getting a job is beyond the point of being a necessity for me.

I remember the days of sitting back and dreaming of "the one" to show up at my door and sweep me off my feet, and how I thought I needed to be with someone because hormones and mind-controlling chick flicks were playing games with me. I then grew older and realized the difference between "needs" and "wants", while watching all of my friends finding a person to be with. I became envious of them. I wanted to be in their shoes... That exact situation is how I feel about getting a job. Yes, getting a job is needed in order to survive in this capitalistic-elitist of a society we American pigs have possessed, but I know my parents would always support me and provide me food and shelter if I needed it. Even though they would most likely threaten me to kick me out of the house because I'm too lazy to support myself, they would never have the heart to do it. Not getting a job would force me to drop out of college because I would never be able to pay for tuition. Even though college isn't needed, but highly recommended, I choose to continue my education so I can get a better paycheck so I can live a better lifestyle and be able to support myself. I want to be my own responsibility.

One of the things my hollow skull needs to realize is that jobs never come to you, you go to them. Yes, I have received offers of creating icons for a friend's website and a logo for my friend's Christian-based sorority over at Central Michigan University, which I could have charged for, but I chose to just use them as experience. My first two relationships were sort of like that. They came to me, and I've learned from what we have had together. From there, I have tried to find myself another person. I came up to her, I've asked if she was interested in having a date, she told me that there is possibility, I offered, but nothing came out of it; just like my first time applying. I came up to the employee, I've asked if they were hiring, he said that there was a possibility, I've applied, and I've gotten nothing out of it.

When I figured out that I wasn't of any interest in the girl I tried for, I didn't quit. My hopes did drop, and it took a while to get back up again, but I tried again. This time I was more careful. I found my interest, I told her my availability, she was interested, I asked her out, she wasn't too sure so she dedicated the next week in getting to know me better, she accepted. One year and five months later, she's still satisfied of having me. Reality can be cruel, but I hope getting a job will be like that.

I'm not giving up this time. I don't want to give up. I want a job. I want to become my own responsibility. I want to start moving in life instead of being the mouse potato that I am and be something better of myself. I need to grow up, and I need to start now.

Office Space.

2005-06-22T00:10:00.000-04:00

(I aplogize for the sketchy post. I've been working on a lot of things lately, not allowing me to plan my posts ahead of time.)

No, not the movie. The title is talking about my office space, you know, the section of the wall the goes from my closet to the edge of my bed where my computer desk and chair sit. Well, to be quite honest, it's the reason why I haven't been posting lately. That's right, I have a new office space.

It all started at my graduation party... I've received two things:

- Adobe CS2 Premium
- Used Pentium 3 IBM computer

The latest and greatest in graphic design software, and a computer powerful enough to go with it. My old computer was a Pentium 2 Gateway. It's still in great condition, but not powerful enough to run the latest technology. So, it has been dubbed as the "Up North Computer".

Before graduation, my father asked me what I wanted as my big gift. I would have asked for Adobe Photoshop CS2, but I knew my computer wouldn't be able to handle the software. So instead, I asked for an Intuos3 Wacom tablet. Did I get it? Of course not. Since I've been updated to the latest in graphic designing software, I needed the latest in graphic designing hardware, which is that very tablet.

I promised myself that I would not spend all of my graduation money on useless things, and actually put some of it in savings for college. So I've decided that everything I've received in cheques will go into savings, and everything in money will go to whatever that I can find useful.

Well, when it came to hooking up my newly used computer, it turned out to be too long to fit underneath the desk. That annoyed me. What also annoyed me was the fact that I've been using an old computer chair with a broken back for over a year, and that's certainly not good for my bad back to begin with. All of these new things and annoyances put my into conclusion that I need to get situated with my life. Everything I do for now on is my decision and my responsibility because life is no longer fun and games. It is time to get serious, and I need to get serious. My future involves my career, and my career involves a computer. I need the technology to get the work done, I need the work space to get myself situated, and I need the atmosphere to get myself motivated. My old desk, chair, and computer couldn't bring any of that.

This is my old office space:

- Small
- Limited
- Used
- Not Sturdy
- Uncomfortable

Those five characteristics obviously needed the change, so $500 later, my office space turned into this:

- Large
- Roomy
- New
- Sturdy
- Comfortable

I have everything I want and everything I need for an office space. Besides the technology, even the little accessories I bought make it that much better. For instance, the desk lamp:

It creates the relaxing atmosphere all together. Since my desk has more space, I was able to enhance the atmosphere even more. I was able to hook up my iPod and my Boston Acoustic computer speakers, so now I can play music from DigitallyImported.com. I have accomplished in my working center, and I am happy. I am also sorry that this post was very... Erm... Sketchy.

Spectacular Events.

2005-06-14T13:06:00.000-04:00

I'm terribly sorry that I haven't posted much lately, and if anything they're not usually the style I normally post. I would be posting more, but there's a surprise coming up later this week. You will find out soon enough. But, the reason why I'm posting this is because I have pictures to show you. They're not fancied up in thumbnails or with borders, because to be quite honest, there are too many pictures. They are the events of the Detroit Electronic Music Festival (Also known as "Fuse-In". May 28th) and my graduation day (June 12th). I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

DEMF
Graduation Day

Logitech Pocket Digital 130

2005-06-03T16:04:00.000-04:00

Will my geeky desires ever be satisfied? Of course not.

My friend Mitch came into class today with two digital cameras because he needed to take pictures for a U.S. History project (He is covering clothing fads of the 21st century; mainly mall goths and fake n' bakes). He came in with a Kodak EasyShare CX4200 and a Logitech Pocket Digital. I saw the Pocket Digital and fell in love with it at first site. It was so small, so simple, and so sleek. Even though the model has been in the market for over two years, I was still fascinated by it. He told me that it's great to carry around with you, but the pictures have low resolution and never turn out if the picture was taken indoors because the lack of having a flash. He then mentioned that there might be a newer model of the pocket digital that actually has a flash. So when I came home today, the first thing I did was to look up the model that he was talking about.

Logitech Pocket Digital 130

SPECIFICATIONS:
- 1.3 Megapixel
- 16 MB Integrated Memory (130+ pictures with 640 x 480 resolution, 40+ pictures with 1280 x 1024 resolution. JPEG format)
- Built-in Flash
- Focus Free Adjustment
- Lithium-Ion battery (Recharges through USB connection)
- Brushed-Steel Exterior

PROS:
- Small (About the size of an iPod, but less in thickness!)
- Durable
- Fits in your pocket

CONS:
- No LCD viewing screen
- No high resolution shots

ORIGINAL PRICE:
- $149.95

OVERSTOCK.COM PRICE:
- $59.99

This is something that I might be able to afford. I already know that I have access to my mother's Kodak EasyShare CX7530, but I mainly use that for graphic design purposes. To me the Pocket Digital 130 is more like a camera phone minus the phone part. I can take it anywhere with me and pull it out to take pictures of whatever I find interesting. It would have been excellent if I had it with me while I was over at Hart Plaza on Sunday for the Detroit Electronic Music Festival (I did bring my mother's camera and when I get the time, I will post pictures. It will most likely happen after the 8th). There have been many situations where I have wanted to take pictures, but lacked a camera, and I believe that this is a perfect fit.

Sketchy At Worst.

2005-05-27T18:35:00.000-04:00

For my 20 hour AP Art final I've decided to do a still-life drawing somewhere between the sizes of 11" x 14" to 14" x 17". The theme? Clear, non-colored glass.

I chose this theme because of the Absolut Vodka bottle. I've always had a fascination with the design and simplicity of the overall bottle, and including the object into the piece is my primary objective (Lettering will not be shown in the final piece).

I remember in the beginning of the year, our first assigned class project was to do a still-life in whatever medium we chose as long as the piece was black and white. Of course I chose my favorite medium.

When it came to critiquing our pieces, the part he loved most was how I drew the glass bottle.

I was quite proud of that area myself. I wasn't proud of the fact that I received a B for the overall project (Then again, it was my first for that class. I've improved drastically since because I finally learned how to apply the elements and principles of art into each piece I do). But, from what I observed about glass bottles or any sort of reflective object in general is that it's the best to include in your drawings. You really get a chance to exercise value and contrast in your pieces.

I have from now until Wednesday to finish this 20 hour piece. I'm pretty confident that it will be over 20 hours, knowing how long it takes me to finish a piece, but I'm still debating on the size. I know for a fact that it will be smaller than 14" x 17".

While I take pictures with the digital camera, I always try different, appropriate settings to see what would make the picture higher in quality. One of them is the default option, and even though the picture didn't bring out the lighting, it made the glass orb glow, which I honestly though was pretty fucking sweet.

This project is 10% of my grade, and I need every hour I can to complete this. Wish me luck.

Senioritis And You.

2005-05-24T19:49:00.000-04:00

I love how day after day I continue to screw myself over in schoolwork, especially in work that is required to be completed and turned in in order to pass the entire class. The last day for seniors is June 8th, and I have so much to do:

THURSDAY, MAY 26
- Algebra/Geometry/Statistics IV - 100 point take-home final exam

FRIDAY, MAY 27
- Introduction to Pottery - All pottery pieces finishes, all glazed, all taken pictures of

TUESDAY, MAY 31
- Zen and Emerson - 15 to 20 minutes presentation on the history of Tibet

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1
- Advance Placement Art - 20 hour project turned in along with two in-class pieces

FRIDAY, JUNE 3
- Advance Drawing and Sketching - 2 pieces

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8
- Introduction to Pottery - PowerPoint portfolio completed and turned in on a CD

This is ridiculous. I've told myself over and over again that I would start working on these things, but I've hardly touched any of it. Honestly, I have four pieces to turn in for my Advance Drawing and Sketching class, but that's in order to get an A (And all five pieces have to be an A in order to receive that grade) and I just want enough work turned in so I don't seem to be a complete failure. I have so much to do this Memorial weekend, I'm not even sure if I'll be able to do anything. I'm lucky enough that Senior Skip Day is this Friday, so I'll have a four-day weekend.

I hate senioritis.

Cheap Ol' White Trash.

2005-05-21T15:21:00.000-04:00

The Environmental Task Force over at my high school invited everyone from the high school district to come sign up and paint a trash can, which will be randomly placed by the walkways between the schools. The Gay Straight Alliance decided to make it a club project and go paint a trash can today. Only three of us showed up: Me, Emma, and Mitch. Since Mitch and I just created a LiveJournal community for our club, I wanted to bring the digital camera so we can post pictures of the event. The pictures, the trash can, and the day to do this turned out to be really wonderful.

I hate to brag, but a lot of the supervisors that were there were really impressed with not only our work, but our idea in general.

DON'T DISCRIMINATE
THROW AWAY YOUR TRASH, ALL OF IT

Emma - Stenciling, and painted the silhouettes
Mitch - Painted in the silhouettes, and '05
Erin - Painted the lettering

Good job to everyone who worked on the project!

Good And Bad Ideas.

2005-05-19T19:27:00.000-04:00

GOOD IDEA:

Wearing a shirt.

BAD IDEA:

Wearing a shirt that shows bare midriff.

GOOD IDEA:

Signing your friend's yearbook with pretty colored writing utensils.

BAD IDEA:

Giving those pretty colored writing utensils to someone sitting across from you who is bored.

RESULT:

No Much More Drama.

2005-05-18T19:33:00.000-04:00

You know it is time for the school year to end when everyone starts to get on everyone else's nerves. That's when the real "High School" drama starts. I'm not just talking about students, because there will always be some sort of tension between them, but I'm also talking about teachers; teachers that finally decide, after all of the time that they were able to do this, to put their foot down and crack the whip on you. But, my question is, "Why now?"

I guess you can say that all of this started happening around May 8th. That's a landmark for all seniors because it tells us that we have one more month of school left. I might as well call it "the home stretch". But, senioritis starts to kick in heavily and the teachers then pile the final projects on us. We stop doing the homework, we stop coming to class on time, and we certainly stop paying attention to even what goes on in class. We've already been accepted to colleges, and just as long as we continue to maintain grades above a 2.0 GPA, who cares?

Just seeing what is going on in school is driving me to the point of insanity. It seems as if the more people stop caring about school, the more they start getting into other people's business. I'm not normally the one to complain about other people, but (Pardon my language) all of this bullshit is starting to pop out of nowhere and it's ticking me off.

WARNING: From here on down will be nothing but childish, immature remarks about people. I am including names. Continue reading if you wish to do so.

[RANT]
My friend Monika and I both have 5th and 6th hour together. That means we have to travel from Canton High School to Salem High School between classes, which is a lengthy walk from where our rooms are located inside of the buildings. One of Monika's friends is also in our 5th hour class that goes to Salem for 6th hour, and we have another friend that walks with us to Salem, but is not in our 5th hour. So we walk together and form a "possie". It's always the same routine everyday:

I get ready about a minute before the bell rings, Monika gets ready at the last second before the bell rings, and Amy always decides to finally pack up her stuff after the bell rings. So, instead of waiting for them, I'm already walking down the stairs to meet up with Shelly. The both of us stand there because we don't really feel leaving Monika behind. We don't care about Amy because she's always dragging behind. The thing is, Amy and Monika are buddy-buddy, so Monika is always waiting for Amy. After a minute of waiting for them, we finally get going.

Now, just to warn you, we have 10 minutes to get to Salem from the time the class dismissal bell rings 'til class beginning bell rings.

Anyways, we're off to a start walking down the east hallway which is about a 100 yard stretch. That is about a two minute walk. The thing is, Monika can't live without seeing her "Schmoopy" for five seconds (The dependency between them is extremely unhealthy for a relationship), so we're always stopping so she can have a kiss and a fondle in front of everyone passing by in the hallway. Then we're off, once again, to get to Salem. It has already been three minutes when we're finally out the Canton door. Just walking from the entry of that doorway to Salem is a four to five minute walk. I want to say, "Five," because they [Amy and Monika] walk so slow. When we're 50 yards away from the door to Salem, the two-minute bell already rings. When we finally reach the second floor of the building, the last bell already rings. Monika and I have already parted with our friends and we show up to class late.

We're always the last ones there, and we have never (And I mean NEVER) been to class on time because of the constant stalling we have between Monika and Amy. My teacher Ms. Miller has never marked us tardy because she never had a problem with it. We always arive at the same time, usually 15 seconds after the last bell rings, and we're normally prepared for class. What boggled my mind is that a couple days ago my teacher told us to sign in on a sheet, giving our name/reason for being late/had a pass on hand. She never does this to us, so I figured maybe she was just having a day.

...The second day came and Ms. Miller told us to sign in again. This time she threatened the both of us with a detention if we show up late one more time. That made me absolutely frustrated because she now finally decides to do something about our constant tardiness. We've never been marked for being late before, but now we are. I absolutely respect this woman, and now she's threatening to put a permanent mark on my record. What a way to end my high school career. The thing is, she never gave Monika and I a warning, telling us that if we continue our late arrivals she will start marking us tardy. She jumps into demanding us to sign in and threatens us with a detention... This is not going to happen again.

I have never gotten a detention, suspension, been expelled, or even had a referral/pink slip (Actually, I received a referral for failing to turn in one assignment back in 7th grade, but I've been a good student for so long that they took it off of my record). I'm certainly not in the mood to start damaging my record now.

Shelly and I walk home together because we both live in the same subdivision. I was telling her about this issue, and it turned out that the day Ms. Miller started marking me tardy, she got marked tardy also. She was also threatened with a detention. She has never gotten any sort of mark on her record, just like mine, so the both of us were heavily convinced that this constant drag from Canton to Salem is going to stop. We're both going to start taking a shorter path, my path, with our without Monika and Amy. Today was the day that we made the change.

I was ready before the bell, Monika was ready before the bell, and even Amy was ready before the bell. It was a miracle! The thing is, Monika and Amy were too busy looking through the yearbook.

The bell rang and I was already walking down the stairs. Shelly saw me coming down, and we both exited out of a door, which leads us across the staff parking lot and into the west hall. Two minutes have already passed and we're out the door and on the way to Salem, without seeing Monika's "Schmoopy". When we were walking outside and to Salem, we were actually with the crowd, instead of seeing a few stranglers here and there. We're then already at the door to Salem and the two-minute bell hasn't even rung yet. We're up the stairs and into our rooms, and we've had a minute to spare.

Shelly was impressed about the route that I decided to take. I was proud of myself on how good of timing I made. But, Monika and Amy didn't seem too happy.

During 5th hour I told Monika about how Shelly and I decided to take a faster route because we're sick of being tardy. I gave her the option of joining us, but either way we're going with or without her. I'm pretty sure Monika told Amy about this while I was blasting Queens of the Stone Age's album: Songs For The Deaf on my iPod.

What's interesting is that Shelly and I don't care about who we need to be along side with while walking over to Salem. But, for some reason Monika has to be by Shelly and Amy has to be by Monika. I can somewhat see why from what I've observed about their relationships, but I honestly think it's a little childish. Well, since Shelly and I were walking a different way, Monika had to follow us. Since Monika was following us, Amy had to come too. The whole way there, the both of them were pouting and complaining and just being immature. It was obvious why Monika was being bitchy (Lack of seeing "Schmoopy" for five seconds, even though they see each other almost every single day after school), but it was hard to understand why Amy was being the same way. I believe it was because she was forced to hurry up and pack.

The only two words I wanted to say the whole walk there were, "Grow" and "Up".
[/RANT]

Either way, like I said earlier, all of this complete bullshit is driving me up the wall. It will all soon be over with, and I know there are worse things out there. I just really wish it was all over with NOW.

Literature At Best.

2005-05-16T21:05:00.000-04:00

If you know me, you know the world is doomed when it comes to me actually wanting to read a book. Yes, that's right, reading. The one thing I never do as an independent activity/project. It creeps me out too, but I'm actually kind of excited about this one.

Yesterday my family and I went out to eat for my grandfather's 75th birthday. After we were finished, we went back to his place to have some cherry pie. My cousin wasn't there at the time, but we were there long enough to see her arrival. When it came to leaving, my brother and I congregated into the office because that's where our shoes were placed. My brother stood in front of a six-foot tall book shelf full of the Harry Potter series, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Tom Clancy novels, Dan Brown novels, and so much more. Even though I hate reading, I looked over to see what she had. My cousin reached out her hand to pull out a black book from the shelf. She handed me the book, and I read the title: The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty (The First of the Classic Erotic Trilogy of Sleeping Beauty) by Anne Rice... Was this a slightly modified, doped up version of Sleeping Beauty? I read the back of the book.

"Something very special... at once so light and yet so haunting." - THE ADVOCATE

In the traditional folktale of "Sleeping Beauty," the spell cast upon the lovely young princess and everyone in her castle can only be broken by the kiss of a Prince. It is an ancient story, one that originally emerged from and still deeply disturbs the mind's unconscious. Now Anne Rice's retelling of the Beauty story probes the unspoken implications of this lush, suggestive tale by exploring its undeniable connection to sexual desire. Here the Prince awakens Beauty, not with a kiss, but with sexual initiation. His reward for ending the hundred years of enchantment is Beauty's complete and total enslavement to him... as Anne Rice explores the world of erotic yearning and fantasy in a classic that becomes, with her skillful pen, a compelling experience.

"Articulate, baroque, and fashionably pornographic." - PLAYBOY

I've never been a fan of pornography, and as I repeat once again about reading, this book seemed to pique my interest. My father saw the book in my hand and he cracked up. He has read it before and enjoyed it. My mother has also read it, but she didn't like it (Then again, she's used to reading your typical Danielle Steel novel). So now I have this book to read by June 4th because that is when I see my cousin again. I would read it now, but I'm assigned to read Raise High The Roof Beam, Carpenters by J.D. Salinger for my Zen & Emerson class. But, when I actually start reading...

Stay tuned for future responses!

To Do Is Now Done.

2005-05-15T00:18:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the layout for Imperfection v1.1.09 is now officially complete. Yes, it was just minor details that needed to be fixed, but they make the layout that much better. Here is what was changed:

- The advertisement banner (Thanks for voting!)
- Comments are no longer brown, but a soft teal
- Comment text is now one pixel larger (11px)
- Blockquoting!

It makes me happy knowing that I don't have to worry about any changes that need to be made on this layout. But, knowing myself, I will always do minor changes to the layout here and there. They will probably be so small that no one would notice at all. But, other than that, what do you guys think?

Advertisement Banner Poll!

2005-05-14T13:09:00.000-04:00

That's right, kiddies! I'm taking a poll. It is for you to decide on what will replace this:

The reason being is because when I created the new layout, I created a post which contained a list on what has been changed, and what will be changed. Under OTHER, one of the to-do projects that was listed was:

"- New advertisement (Animated) banner coming soon."

I have created the banner, as I promised (Even though there are a few more accomplishments to be made that I promised doing 1 1/2 months ago), but sadly it is not animated because the program I had could only be used during a certain time-span. But when I started to create the banner, I made twelve different ones all seperated into groups of three depending on the photos I took (Pool water, shuffle board, and Atlanta City skies) and used to create their backgrounds. Luckily I was able to reduce the options down to half of what I originally had. Now it is your turn to reduce it down to one!

I will be collecting votes throughout the day until midnight. You can send in your vote by commenting on this blog or my LiveJournal, via e-mail, or by instant messaging me at Broadzilla XVII.

NOTE: To specify your vote, there are names for each banner. Just hover your mouse over an image and its name will appear. All you have to do is give me the name of the image that you would like to vote for.

Thank you.

Applying Knowledge.

2005-05-12T19:18:00.000-04:00

Every year there is always the same goal for the Gay-Straight Alliance to accomplish, and that is to design "The Shirt". It is tradition for every AP class, club, sport, or some sort of official student organization to come up with a design for a T-shirt that will represent them. The problem is that everytime GSA tries to figure out what we want as a design, it never gets done.

LAST YEAR - The T-shirt idea was presented and everyone was interested. The ideas for T-shirt designs were brought out, but there was a problem. The person who was taking charge of the shirts only gave out ideas that she liked, and we had to make a majority opinion on what was the best out of all. That opinion never came because we suddenly lost interest since we couldn't apply our own ideas for the shirts.

THIS YEAR - Once again, the T-shirt idea was presented, but this time it was by a different person, and everyone was interested. The problem is that it was presented last week, and we only have about four more meetings left until the schoolyear ends. It's never going to get done. But, this time the person has more motivation than the other, so kudos to him. At least we had a say in ideas.

I must admit, this kid gave me some boost in motivation today. He came in with a portfolio at the meeting. It was a simple, black, three-ring binder with pages full of T-shirt designs and some previous image coloring jobs (All created/colored on Adobe Photoshop CS) inside of slipcovers, with a cover design on the front of the binder. His works are mediocre, but he tries so hard and he's so proud about what he does.

While everyone was in their own little world chit-chatting away about life, liberty, and the pursuit of baked goods, I sat down on top of the desk and started flipping through the kid's portfolio. He saw me looking through it and knew something was going to be said by me. Before opening my mouth to critique his works, he was already pointing out almost every single mistake that I caught. To make sure he knows what to look for the next time he does artwork similar to what we were looking at, I pointed out the mistakes that he didn't catch, and told him what he could have done in order to improve the realism of the image.

A couple people were around me at the time, also looking at the portfolio. While flipping through the pages, I stopped to point out which logo would work best as a T-shirt design. The people around me also agreed because it was taken off of the SEGA logo, which is a very creative idea, mind you. Well, it's not only catchy but also very simple and would go well on a plain, white T-shirt. I was impressed. The kid then pointed to the logo under it and told me that he wanted to use that as a poster design. The started explaining what the text would say and where it would go, but there was a mistake in the making if he stuck with his idea. The way the background of the logo was designed, if you placed the text on a certain side above or below the page, the eyes would lead off of the page which is what you don't want. The focus was in the middle of the logo, so I pointed that if he wanted to turn the design into a poster, all of his text will have to be symmetrical and point towards the middle. Movement is a big principle that applies when it comes to artwork, and you want to keep the movement inside of the piece and not lead out.

Since he was showing people his work, I wanted to show him mine (Remember kids: showing off is an artist's job). The only works that were on me were the two drawings in my brand new sketchbook, and whatever remains of mine were left on the internet. I basically wanted to point out how much experience I've had, and how much AP Art can be an experience in general.

Showing the kid my banner on this website was the only thing I had for graphic-wise. He thought it was pretty well done, so I told him the strategy that was used in order to create this. He even summed up what I told him to make sure he remembers it for future use. This made me happy knowing that for once I was being useful and helping out someone who wants it.

My friend was digging through my backpack to grab a business card because he lost one the last time he grabbed one. The kid saw him decided to grab one too for future use. He seem impressed knowing that I actually have business cards. He made a note that he'll contact me via e-mail for help or any questions. I told him to contact me anytime. The next thing I knew I was receiving a hug and a "Thank you" from the kid. It made me feel good knowing I actually gave out a helping hand, and I did it by applying my knowledge about art.

The Adventures of Erin and Mom.

2005-05-01T15:25:00.000-04:00

The past couple days I have been approached by my mother with questions that are either everyday annoyances or unexpected disturbances. The results end up to be... Well... You figure it out.

DAY ONE

Friday afternoon my girlfriend was playing on my brother's computer because it's the only one that has the game Natural Selection on it. I made the mistake of introducing the game to her because it created an addiction. But, it's bloody brilliant (I knew it was a bad idea to watch Harry Potter last night) to watch so my brother and I were in the room watching her play. I've decided to be cute and annoying so I kept taking off or pulling down her rastafarian hat that she was wearing while she was playing the game, causing her to lose concentration. She eventually got fed up with it and ordered my brother to keep me steady. So, with his kung fu grip he grabbed and held onto both of my wrists with his left hand and forced me to sit on his lap. As I struggled even more he would grab on tighter, causing his hand to pull on my arm hairs and have his middle finger dig deeper into one of my pressure points (As much as I support my brother joining the Army, the things he was taught in Boot Camp brings me hell back at home). While sitting on his lap, I had an idea:

"Kevin, if you want I can make things easier for you."
"By doing what?"
"There's a set of handcuffs in my closet"
My brother's eyes lit up and he jumped for joy.
"Lead me to the location of where your handcuffs are!"

I led him to my closet and pointed where they were laying. While my brother still had a hold of me, he bent over and picked them up. He saw the keys dangling from the chain, so he took them off the hook they were on. He placed the handcuffs on me and led me back to the computer room.

Time passed by and Birdy had to exit the game because the three of us had a date with my friend Gryphon to go see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Good movie, by the way. If you've enjoyed Spaceballs, you'll enjoy this) at 5:10pm. The handcuffs were eventually removed and thrown on my bedroom floor right next to my bed. I know I should have put them back in the closet, but I was too lazy. That was a bad idea.

The rest of the night was occupied by going to Zach's Restaurant for some of their famous Awesome Fries (French fries layered with melted mozzarella cheese and bacon bits) with a side of ranch dressing, and then off to Birdy's house to sleep over. The original plan was to meet up with my friend Laura and her friends at Necto for Pride Friday, but no one was interested as the day went on. For the rest of the night I didn't come home once, so the handcuffs were never put away. I can remember the position they were in, too.

Saturday morning I came home at around noon because Birdy had plans made with her aunt, and... Well... She's not too fond of me. When I got home, the first thing I did was walk upstairs to take care of the handcuffs, and when I got in the room, I looked down at them. It looked like as if someone stood in the same spot I was standing in, staring down at the metal contraption, and slightly moved it with their foot to make sure it wasn't a figment of their imagination.

Oh shit...

Owning a set of handcuffs at the age of 10 would be considered normal, but if you're 18... There will be questions. But, I decided to just deal with it and throw the cuffs in the closet. I then walked into the computer room. A few minutes later, my mom stood in the doorway.

"Why were there handcuffs on your floor?"
My mind quickly scrambled for what poor excuse I could give to her, but, I've decided it was best to tell her the truth.
"Because Birdy didn't want me touching her and Kevin was in the room so I told him-" I see my mom shaking her head as if I was lying. "...What?"
"Are you two [Me and Birdy] doing kinky things?"
"Mom, I've always wanted a set of handcuffs ever since I was a kid!"
My mom turns around and walks away, shuddering.
"Eww..."

DAY TWO

For months on end, my room was left untouched with any cleaning devices, products, or even my very own hands. This led to having papers, clothes, and unidentified objects (Hopefully not flying) constantly piling up on my floor. My room drives my mother absolutely nuts when it's not cleaned because it becomes so bad to the point where you can't see anything on top of my desk and dresser, and there will be no walking space on the floor. My mother has begged me for weeks on end to clean up my room, especially all of the clutter that lies around my desk.

One weekend my parents planned on going up north, so my mother assigned me to, once again, clean the area around my desk. I finally cleaned it up. What annoys me about my mother assigning me chores is that she doesn't understand the fact that the chore she assigns me will eventually get done, just not at the time she asks me to do it. But, it was finally finished.

This morning (More like at 3:00 in the afternoon) I walked downstairs to grab myself some tea, and there was my mother, in the kitchen, just like every real woman should be. Once again, she comes up with an issue about me.

"You need to clean your room."
I look at her as if she was blind.
"It's clean."
"Erin, you shoved everything under your desk."
"So? You can walk on the floor now! Isn't that what you wanted?"
"That's not the point..."

That's exactly the point.

Memorized Theories.

2005-04-28T19:42:00.000-04:00

Life is considered to be too long while you slowly age day by day, but when it comes to the end of your life, you realize that it was too short to begin with. My theory is that we think it's too short in the end because we don't even remember half of the things we did in the first place. Now let's get technical:

Say we live to be 80 years old.

80 YEARS

On average, we sleep about eight hours a day, naps included. That's a third of the day, which adds up to a third of the year, which adds up to a third of our entire lives. We can only remember having so many dreams from our childhood to present, say about a dozen out of 233,600 dreams (Averaging 8 dreams a night), which isn't enough to lessen the dent of this equation. So, let's take a third out of our lives.

80/3 = 26.66666667 YEARS
80-Ans = 53.33333333 YEARS

Have you remembered anything that you did or happened from the time you were born from the time you were, say... 5? I didn't, my girlfriend didn't, my family doesn't, and my friends don't. So let's take 5 years out.

Ans-5 = 48.33333333 YEARS

Looks creepy yet? Don't worry, you still have about 50 more years to go. Now, let's talk about school. Let's say an average person attended at school from preschool to college, earning your Bachelor's Degree. That's 18 years of schooling, with each school year being 180 days long.

180*18 = 3240 DAYS

You most likely don't even remember half of what went on.

3240/2 = 1620 DAYS

What you do remember was probably what went on in your high school/college years. You most likely don't even remember half of that because you were tired most of the time anyways.

1620/2 = 810 DAYS

Now let's add all of that together and subtract from what we have left of our lives.

1620+810 = 2430 DAYS
2430/365 = 6.657534247 YEARS
48.33333333-Ans = 41.67579909 YEARS

Then there is your employment history. Let's say an average working person starts from when they are 18 and retire at the age of 65. That's 48 years. Guess what? You won't even remember half of that anyways!

48/2 = 24 YEARS

Now let's take that away from our total.

41.67579909-Ans = 17.67579909 YEARS

So, when we're on our death beds thinking back on life, it will really feel as if we have only lived for 18 whole years (Total being rounded). What makes life seem so long is because we're able to remember what has happened day by day for the past week or two, which becomes a constant write over in our minds. This happens because what goes on during school or work is repetitive due do constant scheduling. The only way to prevent this from happening is by having something eventful or something of some importance happen, and will become stored somewhere else. So if life really feels that short, then was it worth living?

Looking at the number 18 makes me think about my age and what happened throughout the years: Birth, Baptism, preschool, kindergarten, losing my first tooth, elementary, Eucharism, middle school, Confirmation, high school, first boyfriend, first kiss, first girlfriend... So much happens in your first 18 years and you can't fully remember half of it. Yes, I know about those events, but what is left to remember? Hardly anything. Those are the years where life is set for you, and all you have to do is live. Those are the best years of your life. After that, life is your responsibility.

In conclusion, live everyday as if it's worth something to you. So when you look back at what you have done or what has happened, you will know that life was worth living.

NOTE: Most of the statistics were based on personal estimates. Do not quote me on what was said above. Everyone is different, and I'm basing this on my view of an average person. Please be respectful. Thank you.

Entriless Mindset.

2005-04-27T21:04:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had those days where you feel fully concentrated and can write or draw or do something creative for days on end, but when it comes to making a mark on the piece of paper in front of you, nothing can come out of it? It's lucky enough to create a few sentences while having this current mindset. The feelings that come out of it are pride and disappointment, which both clash together in a scrambling fashion. You feel smart and deep in thought one minute, and the next thing you know there is so much on your mind that nothing can come out of it. All of these unorganized thoughts eventually become "mumbo jumbo" and causes frustration because you were hoping to get so much out of it. Instead, you have gotten nothing.

This is just like trying write in my journal. Pages upon pages have been written in this and have been constantly ripped out and thrown away because they have all started with that mindset. They would then never be finished because after the minute I take a break from them, having my concentration reach to the level of what I had previously would never become accomplished. Leaving something unfinished for the day has always been a pet peeve of mine because I know I would never come back to finish it sometime in the future after the day has passed. That annoyance forces myself to go back to finish the written journal entries with a different state of mind, having the mood of the entry change right in the middle of reading over what was written. This would bring me to the point of dissatisfaction, causing me to rip out the written entries and leave the readers of my blog hanging for another week (If the entries were actually published it would average out to be a post a week). So, I apologize for the lack of entries. I would post so much more, but this blog would be spammed with online quizzes/surveys, short and random thoughts and everything else in between. I leave all of that for my LiveJournal.

Neistat's Sexual Eyebrows.

2005-04-25T20:19:00.000-04:00

Being a personal fan of the Neistat Brothers's work, I look through their website every now and then to see what new creations they have come up with. Remember hearing about iPod's dirty little secret? They were the ones who went into great depths to reveal about the life-span of the iPod battery to the world, and made a movement to have companies create battery replacement kits. That video made me wonder what else they have done, hense searching through the website.

I only looked through their video gallery until today. While searching through their drawings, there was the eyebrows essay. Mainly the author (Author of the essay was not stated) and I both share common views about the brows and how they should be maintained, but the part that made me laugh most was the concluding paragraph.

"Straight men should never touch their eye brows, thereis no exception to this rule. It is ok for homosexual men because men like the look of perfect eyebrows so if you want to attract another man go for it and groom. The only other men that can groom their eye brows are trans sexuals, i do not think i need to explain this."

This was obviously a very rough draft, and by the looks of the writing style, I'm pretty sure it was an independent writing. But, if he won't explain the reason why, will (Or, better yet, "can") you?

Here Comes The Clowns!

2005-04-11T11:19:00.000-04:00

There are three birthdays being celebrated today:

- My Aunt Cindy (Mom's side. Age: Unknown)
- My Uncle John (Dad's side. Age: 55)
- ME! (Both sides. Age: 18!)

So, happy birthday to all of us! At least my aunt and my uncle aren't celebrating it by being at home, sick. Yes, that's right, SICK! Laryngitis has attacked me over the weekend and has crept on up to today. So going to school was not an option for today's to-do list. When I do not go to school, I do not go out of the house for the rest of the day. It's not entirely a huge loss because it's a Monday. If I wasn't sick, I would either be going to Open Mic Night at the Bean or babysitting my two cousins. Nothing special. Thankfully I've saved the partying until Friday.

Since I'm now 18, I can now legally do many things:

- Vote (Hillary Clinton '08 or bust!)
- Attend at night clubs (Stilletos, anyone?)
- Buy cigars (Cigarettes aren't worth the money. But, at least I now have a reason to own a Zippo Spectrum 151!)
- Tip a couple strippers (Just so I can say that I did)
- Have sex (I know 16 is the "legal" age, but the state law is screwy about it)
- Purchase pornography (...Ewww)
- Gamble (Would purchasing lottery tickets be considered as gambling?)
- Order commercial/online products (Except I don't have a credit/debit card)
- Go to jail (Except not)
- Bartend (I like bartending)

While I look back at this, every single thing is considered a horrible thing, including voting (Depending on who and what you're voting for). I love how America adapts their own lifestyles.

Good + (Bad) = Mediocre?

2005-04-02T16:30:00.000-05:00

Everyone all over the world knows about this issue and it means a lot to me. It's a historical day, and it's a day that I know I'm going to remember for the rest of my life.

Pope John Paul II (Karol Josef Wojtyla)
BORN: May 18, 1920
DIED: April 2, 2005

May you rest in the hands of God...

Most of the people mourn for his death, but it's better to reflect on the great things he's done in life and be happy that he's now in a better place.

(Good) + Bad = Mediocre?

2005-04-02T16:09:00.000-05:00

"Shave and a haircut... TOOOOO BIIIIITS!" - Roger Rabbit: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

As part of the process of what I would like to call MISSION: Makeover (I know, cheasy and not original. Got it), I needed a haircut. I made a hair appointment at Blondie & Leftys Hair Salon for today at 2:00pm. When I got there, they assigned me to my favorite stylist, Kristy. She's a people person, a Jennifer Anniston clone (Same gorgeous looks, same age range, almost same personality), went to the same high school I'm going to, and knows what she's doing. What's best is that she absolutely loves working with me because I'm so easy going.

While I was on my way to the salon, I knew I was going to go back to layering my hair again, but I was debating whether I should also get a small face frame, long wispy bangs, or neither. When I got to the salon, I reported in and waited for not even a minute.

"Erin?"
I look up and see Kristy beaming a smile. I smiled back and stood up. She opened her mouth again.
"So how are you?"
My shyness started to kick in, probably because I was blushing. Hopefully it wasn't noticeable. I had to say something.
"Good!"
She led me to her chair. I didn't want to seem antisocial, so I spoke up again.
"And how are you?"
"I'm good, thank you."
I sat down and took the ponytail out of my hair.
"So what are we going t- Wow! Your hair is long! When was the last time I cut it?"
"Mid-summer"
"Wow... Your hair grows fast!"
"Yeah... Yeah it does."
"Well then, let's get your hair washed."

Getting my hair washed is probably the best part about getting my haircut. Just leaning back and having my head being massaged by the hands of a gorgeous woman makes things so relaxing and joyous. Since they use top quality hair products, my hair feels and smells so wonderful. Every ten to twenty minutes, I find myself smelling the locks of my hair after coming home from the salon. Then it actually came to getting my hair cut.

"So what do you want?"
"Cut to my shoulders, and... I want layers... Long ones."
She knew I was debating about something because of the slight pauses and the tone in my voice.
"Do you also want a face frame? Just a small one."
I honestly think she has mind-reading powers. I smiled.
"Yes."
"I think this will look good on you."
And she started cutting away.

I had Kristy dry my hair straight. No matter how many ways you dry my hair, the top layer always becomes wavey. It bugs me, and that's why you never see me with my hair straight. I strongly believe that straighteners are also a waste of money.

I let the top layer of my hair down to show you what it really looks like. It may look nice then, but after two minutes it will go back to how it originally was.

Self-explanitory.

I was having so much fun with the digital camera that I decided to pull off a sexy 80s look.

The ponytail shot is important because if you saw me a lot (IE: At school), you would know me for wearing a ponytail most of the time. With my hair up, the bottom of the ponytail touched my shoulders. In this picture, you can see how much was chopped off.

I feel as is ten pounds have been lifted off my head.

I'm A Consumer Whore!

2005-03-31T18:39:00.000-05:00

At 10:00 this morning, the phone rang... And it rang, and it rang, and it rang. It woke me up and wouldn't allow me to fall back to sleep. If you knew me, purposely waking me up is a bad idea, but I wanted the phone to stop ringing, so I finally picked it up.

"Err... Hello...?"
"Hi! We're here!"
"...At my door?"
"Yes! Open it up!"
"Erm... Okay... Bye."

I hung up the phone and struggled to get out the bed. Walking downstairs was a challenge itself. I opened the door and there stood my girlfriend and our friend Gryphon. I didn't think they would actually come to my house so early in the morning like they said they would. Then again, "early in the morning" means 6:00am to them.

Just after being at my house for five minutes, they were already bored, and bugged me for ideas on how to entertain ourselves. We couldn't play XBox because there's only two controllers, we couldn't play on the computer because it's meant for one person, and we had five hours to use until our friend Gryphon had to take Birdy to work. Our most likely option, as always, is going to the mall or some other convenient store. So I brought up the idea, with a warning, about taking me clothes shopping. As easy going as they both are, they agreed to take me shopping.

We went to stores all over in Canton, Plymouth, and Westland. The trip sucked so much money out of my wallet, leaving me just enough money for a Sin City movie ticket and a snack for tomorrow night. We shopped from 11:30am, 'til 4:30pm. I gave Gryphon and Birdy a warning about taking me clothes shopping. This is the result of it all:

PLATO'S CLOSET:
- Cargo Khakis, Men's American Eagle, W29 L32 - $12.00
- Cargo Khakis, Men's Gap, W30 L32 - $10.00
- Black Leather Belt - $2.80 (Sale, 70% off. Original Price: $4.00)
Total + Tax: $24.59

JIMMY JOHN'S:
- #5 Vito Sub - $3.59
Total + Tax: $4.00 (Original Price: $4.01, but the man was nice enough to sacrifice a penny for the company. Then again, he did look pretty shocked when he saw me)

MICHAEL'S:
- Design Ebony Drawing Pencils - $1.29
- Job Application - $0.00
Total + Tax: $1.37

EARTH LORE:
- A smile on the cashier - $0.00 (She was having a rough day)
Total + Tax: Priceless

VALUE CITY:
- Black Blouse, Women's Kaktus, XL - $9.99
- White Blouse, Women's Kaktus, S - $9.99 (Different sizes because black makes you look thinner)
- Winterfresh Gum, 17 Pack - $0.99
Total + Tax: $22.17

FAMILY DOLLAR STORE:
- Ocean Breeze Moisturizing Body Lotion (With Vitamin E), Suave Naturals, 18 fl. oz. - $2.50
- Max Hold Hairspray, Suave, 6.5 fl. oz. - $1.00
- No Show Socks, Ladies Family Dollar Services, Sizes 4-10 - $5.00
Total + Tax: $10.99

FAMOUS FOOTWEAR:
- Brown Distressed Cool Cat Oxford Shoes, Men's Skechers, Size 7 - $39.99 (On sale. Original Price: $59.99)
- Job Application - $0.00
Total + Tax: $42.39

KOHL'S:
- Picking out what kind of frilly underwear Gryphon should wear - $0.00 (He's a transvestite)
Total + Tax: Priceless

TOTAL AMOUNT SPENT: $105.51

I thought I would never own American Eagle. Frankly, I never wanted to, but it was the exact kind of pants I was looking for, color and everything! Somehow I ended up with $8.00 left in my wallet after having $110.00. I followed the receipts, and checked twice, but I still see an Abraham Lincoln and three George Washingtons left in my wallet... Weird. But, I'm proud of myself on how much money I saved. The only thing that took a huge chunk of money out of my wallet were the shoes alone. Skechers are well worth the money, in my opinion.

All-in-all, I am satisfied with what I bought. My brother is just somewhat annoyed that I have no money left for video games. There's always my birthday.

Greedy For Green.

2005-03-30T21:08:00.000-05:00

The grass is greener on the other side if you wake up seeing a wad of $110, in cash, sitting on top of your desk. That will certainly make somebody's morning. It seems as if nothing was done in order to deserve that money. But, complaining isn't worth the time. What is worth the time is figuring out on what to do with it.

There are two options:

1. Save it
2. Spend it

SAVE IT - This much money hasn't been put into my hands in a long time. At least, not all at once. It can be put into the bank, or saved for emergencies only. My banking account has been completely emptied out because of my father's unemployment, so saving up on interest will not do much for my financial status (Then again, at this rate, every penny should be worth it). Plus, there is no constant flow of money since I am unemployed. Knowing how to pay for my future college education is unknown to me and my family.

My birthday is coming up within two weeks which means more money will be coming in. It will obviously be added to the current amount, possibly becoming worth while to actually save in the bank, depending on how much is received. It will be considered if the amount reaches to $200 or over.

SPEND IT - Ideas were limitless when figuring out I was going to be paid a fairly large amount of money (To someone who has never seen a $100+ directed towards them, it's big) for doing simple work. It ranged from video games, to clothes, to telephones, to art supplies, to Wacom tablets, to even black lights. My brother and I were convinced on taking a trip to the nearest Best Buy and Gamestop to buy both Doom 3 and Fable for XBox, but neither were available. It turns out that Doom 3 isn't even out for XBox, and Fable was available but without a case for it. My brother didn't come home empty-handed, though. He bought Star Wars: KOTOR2 and Star Wars: Republic Commando. While shopping, the both of us have agreed that we're getting LEGO: Star Wars when released. Yes, we might be freakish fanatics, but you cannot go wrong with Star Wars.

Clothes is another thing on my mind because lately my appearance has been really getting to me. Caring about looks was the last thing to worry about, but growing up [Mentally] kind of affects that. My wardrobe is filled with clothes that have been worn since junior high or later, and it needs something new. It needs nicer shoes, nicer pants, and nicer tops. The keyword is: nice. Nice is pointing more towards presentable. Presentable meaning kahkis, leather shoes, button-up tops, solid colors, no print, and no showing-off. It's all about how I'm presenting myself instead of "Just a plain girl". Fashion hasn't been the only thing I've been worrying about, either. I've been shaving my legs on a regular basis, plucking my eyebrows more often, and I'm even going to make a hair appointment sometime this week to chop off whatever has grown since last summer. Feeling clean and being clean is what to reach for.

Telephones were high up there on "What to buy". The poor quality of the phone in my room and the phone in the office has finally caught up to everyone. They both lack volume adjustment, clear reception, and mobility around the house since one is a cord phone and the other is filled with constant static. After searching all over BestBuy.com for the right phone, I found GE 2.4GHz Cordless Phone System with Call-Waiting Caller ID dual set for $60. Confronting this to my father convinced him that the both of us are going to take a trip to Best Buy this weekend, and he'll buy the phones. Hopefully we'll take a trip to ACO hardware to buy corner shelves for my room so I can finally finish decorating it.

Since consumer-whoring was the activity for the day, my mother asked me the big question during dinner, "What do you want for your birthday?" My mind went blank, and out came a "Durf"... What did I really want? Here I am talking about how materialism is starting to become a lifestyle of mine, and I couldn't give an answer. I believe it's because I want everything money-related to be my own responsibility, and not having to horde off of others. It took me hours to figure out what I really wanted, and then I thought about something that would not only benefit myself, but also for the rest of my family. I'm going to ask for a XtremeMac AirPlay FM Transmitter for my iPod. Yes, there is the Griffin iTrip, but quality beats quantity. I check ratings before I check the prices, and the XtremeMac AirPlay wins by a longshot compared to the iTrip. It's smaller, easier to use, doesn't need software, and has better sound quality (From what the reviews told me).

I'm excited about what's coming up ahead.

Spring Fling Face Lift.

2005-03-30T02:52:00.000-05:00

New post, new season, new layout. I've been wanting to change the theme to something that involves nature's elements because of Spring and that theme allowed me to use the pictures I took from Atlanta | Florida for the banner. It lacks color and doesn't have the "In your face!" attitude compared to the other layout, but it's more relaxing and easier on the eyes. The color wasn't the only thing that was changed in the layout. Some things were also added/removed/changed:

LINKS

- All links (Except for archives, previous posts, top, and comment-related buttons) now open up to new windows so you don't constantly have to search back in order to return to the blog.

- Due to having lengthy posts, a TOP button was added for quicker access to the top of the page instead of having to scroll up. IMPORTANT! Pressing the button will make you return to the TOP of the MAIN PAGE of the blog. It will not work if you are viewing previous posts, comments, or archives!

- You can now directly post a comment without having to view comments. It will not open to a new window. Anyone (Blogger user or not) is eligible to post!

- Webcam image is now linked to the webcam album.

- Profile image is now linked to a larger view.

OTHER

- Blockquoting was added to separate off-topic discussions, quotations, or documentation away from the main post. Still under construction.

- New profile image coming soon.

- New advertisement (Animated) banner coming soon.

- Possibility of reducing blog in width (By 5 to 10 pixels) to create a perfect fit for 800x600 screen resolution users to help eliminate the horizontal scrollbar.

What do you think? Post a comment!

Mouse Potato.

2005-03-08T06:01:00.000-05:00

Last night I was picked up from babysitting my cousins, by my mother, because my uncle worked a 14-hour shift and just wanted to relax when he got home. Understandable. So I walked outside to hop into my mother's car, and it turns out that she was driving my brother's 1995 Saturn.

"Why are you driving Kevin's car?"
"Well dad is at choir practice, and when I went to go in the garage with the keys to the Mountaineer, it turns out that the only car in there was the Saturn."
Talking about cars brought up a question.
"Mom, if I get a stable job by May, are you and dad still willing to pay off the car so I can have it?"
She looked at me as if I was speaking Greek.
"No! But, you can drive the Focus... It turns out that it doesn't need to be turned in until a year and a half from now."

...Shit. Because of that wonderful "confidence-booster", I'm now stuck at home again while camping around my computer, with no motivation (Or at least one that isn't big enough) to get up off my ass and find a job. Thank you, mother.

Locking Homework

2005-03-04T17:08:00.000-05:00

For Christmas I have received a cheap, beaten-up journal covered with sunflowers and pastel colors such as lavenders, beiges, and light greens. Finding an actual use for this journal was going to be hard because I already have two journals (Both kept online), a book to write all of my poetry in, and three sketchbooks to draw and doodle in. I was greatful nonetheless because it came from my Great Aunt Betty. It has been decided that this hard-cover journal will be kept in my carrying bag so it can be used to write down my future posts when there is something to talk about, but lacking access to a computer.

During the time that this entry is being written, I am also lacking something else, and that is memory. Today while walking to 2nd hour, with my friend Lyndsay, she was trying to remember her friend's locker combination so she could grab her [Lyndsay's] book. What threw my memory off was that she was saying the combination out loud. While she was doing this, I was citing my locker combination in my head.

"23... 31... 10... 42... 20... Uh oh."

I couldn't remember what the combination was! Panicking wasn't worth the time since I figured it would come to me through touch and visuals like it normally does when it comes to opening my locker. But, trying to stop thinking about the locker combination was not happening. When I walked up to my locker, I choked.

23 - 31 - 02...
10 - 43 - 08...
09 - 20 - 03...

The lock wasn't budging and the last bell already rang. Being marked tardy was not on today's agenda, so I came to my Political and Economic Systems class unprepared, which caused a large pile up on homework for this weekend (Which is a bummer because I have plans... Such as going to Hooters with a bunch of lesbians on Saturday. Woohoo!)

After walking into my 2nd hour class, I then remembered the combination.